Life is better

After church on Sunday we stopped for brunch at a newly opened restaurant across from the church. We were the only patrons and after a delicious breakfast, the owner chef came over to chat. During the conversation he mentioned being in recovery and went on to talk about what a difference it has made in his life. He's been sober 25 months. He acknowledged he easily could be one of the homeless people who come into the neighborhood for the meals provided at local churches. When we asked how he stays sober even in an environment that serves liquor, he smiled and had several comments. He pointed to his wife who was standing nearby, "She keeps an eye on me..." He said, "I'm not stupid. I see how much better my life is..." And then he said, very seriously, "My 4 year old daughter will never need to know me as I was then."

I was particularly touched by his last comment. Sometimes those working in the profession says things like, "You have to get sober for yourself...you can't get sober for anyone else." I think that's not quite true. I think especially in early recovery you can be motivated to move into recovery because of another person. Then, hopefully, you figure out, "I am not stupid...life really is better without it...people I love will know me without it"

If today you continue to struggle with an addiction, whatever that might be, or something you really want to change about yourself, can you be motivated by the love of someone else...and then figure out " life really is better?!"

(by the way, the brunch entree was fried bread pudding with strawberry syrup and whipped cream-life is better!!!)

Blessings-Penny

Pleasant surprise

Sometimes a day starts quietly. We planned an "exploratory" trip to the nearby Farmer's Market with no great expectations. What a wonderful surprise! Stall after stall of beautiful vegetables, fruit, chicken, fish... the prices less than the regular supermarket I have been frequenting. Customers with bags and bags of groceries doing their weekly shopping.

There's just something about a Farmer's Market that is so appealing. Maybe it's the freshness. Maybe it's the looks of pleasure on the shoppers' faces.

What unexpected pleasure have you had in the last few days? Did it make you smile?

Blessings-Penny

With Father's Day just past my thoughts have focused on the "fathers" in my life. My dad certainly had a strong impact on who I am, what I have done in my life. Some of it good, some of it not quite so much. He did foster my sense of play, the risks I seem willing to take. My sons are both fathers-incredible fathers---willing to put their children and families first in their decision making. Their father, my former husband, gives me much credit for what good men they have turned out to be; however, I also give him great credit. After all, they are both career Marine Corps officers just like their dad. Neither of them are nurses!

And then there is "Our Father who art in heaven..." No matter what demonination or religion we are, there is generally a Father figure in the theology. How do we see Him? What impact does He have on our daily lives? Do we take risks based on our relationship with Him?Do we make decisions based on our relationship with Him?

Did we think of Him on Father's Day?
Blessings-Penny

Fragile

I have continued to think about the baseball player I talked about in the last blog. The title of that article talks about the "fragile" recovery of this ball player. As I have thought about it, all of us are fragile. Our very lives are fragile. Our life circumstances can change in the blink of an eye. It is this fragileness that creates our anxieties, our sleepless nights. We make plans. We try to prepare for uncertainty. But all we really know...
all we can really count on...is that God is with us. God will hold us through it all. That is His promise.That really is all we need to know.

Do you believe that promise?

Blessings-Penny

struggle

There is a recent article in a Sports Illustrated regarding a major league baseball player who has been struggling with addiction for many years. He has great talent, makes lots of money, has a beautiful family. And yet. he continues to relapse. His wife says after a number of cycles of recovery/relapse, they realized "something was missing" from their lives and his recovery. They now consider themselves "born again" Christians and work to have a continuing dialogue with the Holy Spirit. And yet he has had further relapses. That is the way addiction works. Even when one has moved into a relationship with God there can be times the addiction, the evil, rears its terrible head. That is life-that is addiction-that is recovery.

What does one do? I certainly don't have the answer but I do know that a person in recovery must always put their recovery first. It must be THE priority. There can't be returns to the people/places and things that are part of that past addiction. Instead there have to be safe people/places and things. Safe, as in a new life with prayerful relationship with God..Safe, as in people who know about the addiction and won't offer to buy "just one." Places where the drugs/alcohol will not be available. Places where you stop and ask God to be with you-over and over and over.

It seems to me this baseball player is going to have a tough time. He continues to be with people and places that do not understand and are a set up. It is not those people's fault. It is his response-ability, just as it is our response-ability, to make other choices about who and where he hangs out; where, with God's help, we make the recovery decision-not the "fun" decision.

He has less than 6 months clean time. I hope I see another article in one year, two years, three years that talk of his continued recovery.

No matter what your struggle, What choices will you make today that are recovery choices? Have you talked with God about those choices today?
Blessings-Penny

This is probably of little significance (and of no spiritual significance!) but I find it quite interesting. We moved to St. Louis about a month ago from Vermont. In Vermont we were filling the gas tank on our Toyota Camry about every 10 days for between $40-$50 dollars per refill...so at least $150 per month.  We filled the tank after our arrival here in St. Louis on a Sunday 3 weeks ago. Today-more than 3 weeks later-we still have over half a tank full from that fill. Now granted, we are unpacking and not venturing to too many events but I find the reduction in consumption really rather amazing. We certainly have been to church, new doctors, Target, grocery (1 mile away), and other errands.

I guess my thoughts about it range from what a mnageable city St. Louis is to what a diverse life style between rural locations and city life. We are a country of such incredible differences. No wonder we have difficulty governing!!

Do we honor the way each other lives or do we always put ourselves and our needs first? "One country...under God..."
Blessings-Penny

Yikes

Dear Friends
I've written a couple of posts recently but do not see them published here. Wonder what I'm doing wrong! Also there have been some great responses from the last couple of months (waiting to be moderated) that I only now see.

First we have arrived here safely in St. Louis and are enjoying city life. However getting settled in our small apt. is a challenge. I am certain "all will be well" in a few weeks. 

Probably the most meaningful moments we have spent were with a friend whose son has been in the ICU at a major hospital for over 30 days. It is a horror story of surgery after surgery. Our friend is the patient's father and has stayed with him during the entire hospitalization. What a story of caregiving and committment. A real inspiration during my moments of frustration!

To the persons who commented on the blog, I am so sorry I haven't personally responded. I will trry to respond personally soon but in the meantime... in response to your questions-yes, I was addicted to alcohol -and yes, God saved my life. It was not until I understood that only God could sustain my recovery that I really entered recovery. My book, "Broken by Addiction, Blessed by God- a woman's path to sustained recovery" talks a bit about my own recovery and alot about the women I worked with for 30 years in the field of addictions...what I learned from them about recovery and about God's miracles. The book is available on amazon.com.
Also I have a new book of daily meditations coming out in the fall. It is entitled-"Filling the God-shaped Void" and gives thoughts and musings about how we try to fill the void in our lives with things and stuff and work-and the only thing that can fill that void is God in Jesus Christ-a quote from a French philospher- Blaise Pascal.

How am I trying to fill the God-shaped void today? Shopping-drinking?-drugging?-busyness? Can I stop for a few minutes and focus on God's gifts to me-the quiet and stillness I let into my life.

Blessings-Penny