Yesterday I visited my friend who has been so very sick---the person I wrote about when the communication among her doctors, other health professionals and her family was so fragmented. When she was moved to a a facility for rehabilitation about 3 weeks ago I honestly wondered if she would ever get well enough to return home. Well, last week she walked to the end of her corridor; she can sit in a wheelchair 4 hours per day; she has showered 3 times. All those things are with assistance but they are miraculous! As sick as she was/is she has accomplished so much---truly a miracle done with God's grace.
And at home my sunflowers are on their last legs; drooping, shriveled; but all day they are visited by sparrows and finches who are delighting in their seeds. The birds hang upside down to get at the seeds. It is such fun to watch. Flowers I would normally cut down are still being enjoyed in this miracle of nature.
Each day new miracles. What are the miracles you see each day? Your recovery? Someone you love making the new steps of recovery? God'd grace all around us.
Blessings-Penny
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Thursday, September 25, 2014
delight
A few "blogs" ago I wrote about managing expectations and being disappointed that my son had not phoned me before leaving on a 3 week hike...and then he had to leave the hike because of his son's illness...which, of course, put things back in perspective. He is a wonderful father who prioritized his son's welfare over a "bucket list" pleasure for himself. The fact he had forgotten to call me seemed very minor when viewed in light of the events that occurred.
We live about 250 miles from my son and yesterday he appeared at my door. Well to be honest he had called the day before so it wasn't a total surprise, but nonetheless the visit was totally unexpected and a real delight. A real joy. And several days before, his son, the one who had been ill ( a serious MERSA infection during Marine Corps training) called to wish me a happy birthday. Now how can a mother/grandmother have greater pleasures than unexpected calls and visits??!!
So today, can you call or visit someone you care about---unexpectedly? They will feel loved.
"Love one another."
Blessings-Penny
We live about 250 miles from my son and yesterday he appeared at my door. Well to be honest he had called the day before so it wasn't a total surprise, but nonetheless the visit was totally unexpected and a real delight. A real joy. And several days before, his son, the one who had been ill ( a serious MERSA infection during Marine Corps training) called to wish me a happy birthday. Now how can a mother/grandmother have greater pleasures than unexpected calls and visits??!!
So today, can you call or visit someone you care about---unexpectedly? They will feel loved.
"Love one another."
Blessings-Penny
Friday, September 19, 2014
feeling safe
We have had lots of interaction with nurses, doctors and related health professionals over the past year. Some has been directly between my husband or myself for our own health issues and some with relatives going through some very serious problems. Unfortunately many of the interactions have been less than satisfactory.
One problem over and over seems to be lack of communication but another problem is a sense that the person really was not confident in the procedure or information they were giving us. However this week we had a wonderful example of a group of nurses who were very experienced and gave a sense that they knew what they were doing. These were nurses who assisted in an outpatient procedure for my husband. First there were the registration nurses who knew him from previous procedures at that hospital. They remembered him which gave a sense of familiarity plus the education was thorough. The day of the procedure, the critical care nurses who prepared him for the procedure and took care of him following it were efficient, friendly, personal and clearly knew what they were doing. These nurses had a high level of certification which means they were experienced and had demonstrated they knew their stuff through rigorous testing.
The bottom line was he felt safe. There is a gift in placing your life in the hands of people are professional and confident in their own abilities. That confidence was evident in the way they performed their technical skills plus in the way they communicated with each other and with us.
Are you confident in the profession or job you have? Do you continue to gain education and experience? Do you make the people around you feel safe? If that job is being a parent, do you continue to grow and learn as your children grow, learn and present different challenges? Does your family feel safe?
As my husband was wheeled into the procedure room, I kissed him and reminded him of what he often reminds me, "Whether I live or whether I die, I am with God," (St. Paul) That is the ultimate place of feeling safe.
One problem over and over seems to be lack of communication but another problem is a sense that the person really was not confident in the procedure or information they were giving us. However this week we had a wonderful example of a group of nurses who were very experienced and gave a sense that they knew what they were doing. These were nurses who assisted in an outpatient procedure for my husband. First there were the registration nurses who knew him from previous procedures at that hospital. They remembered him which gave a sense of familiarity plus the education was thorough. The day of the procedure, the critical care nurses who prepared him for the procedure and took care of him following it were efficient, friendly, personal and clearly knew what they were doing. These nurses had a high level of certification which means they were experienced and had demonstrated they knew their stuff through rigorous testing.
The bottom line was he felt safe. There is a gift in placing your life in the hands of people are professional and confident in their own abilities. That confidence was evident in the way they performed their technical skills plus in the way they communicated with each other and with us.
Are you confident in the profession or job you have? Do you continue to gain education and experience? Do you make the people around you feel safe? If that job is being a parent, do you continue to grow and learn as your children grow, learn and present different challenges? Does your family feel safe?
As my husband was wheeled into the procedure room, I kissed him and reminded him of what he often reminds me, "Whether I live or whether I die, I am with God," (St. Paul) That is the ultimate place of feeling safe.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
"managing expectations" and recovery
In talking with a friend about the blog on "managing expectations," she reminded me of how pertinent that topic is to recovery...recovery from anything. All too often as a person comes out of treatment there are expectations by the recovering person and the family that lead to great disappointment...to fear...to anger...to sadness. Coming out of treatment almost everyone expects to be the person who "makes it," to be the person who never drinks or drugs again, to be the person who the desire to drink or drug is taken away... to be the person who no longer is critical, who is now the "perfect" husband and father. Too often the "expectations" are way, way too idealistic.
Though relapse is not inevitable and some people are blessed enough to have the desire taken away, much more frequently there are relapses,...or the recovering person struggles with recovery,.. or is cranky...and still does alot of those annoying habits that we blamed on his or her selfishness when drinking.
We all need to manage our expectations of recovery...any recovery.
This lovely person with whom I had this discussion reminded me also of one way to manage expectations. She reminded me of Psalm 103...here are some phrases that touch me:
"He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases
...The Lord is merciful and loving-slow to anger and full of constant love
He does not keep rebuking:He is not angry forever
...He knows what we are made of and remembers that we are dust."
I am reminded that I manage my expectations of myself and others through the gift of God's grace.
I forgive because I am forgiven.
Blessings-Penny
Though relapse is not inevitable and some people are blessed enough to have the desire taken away, much more frequently there are relapses,...or the recovering person struggles with recovery,.. or is cranky...and still does alot of those annoying habits that we blamed on his or her selfishness when drinking.
We all need to manage our expectations of recovery...any recovery.
This lovely person with whom I had this discussion reminded me also of one way to manage expectations. She reminded me of Psalm 103...here are some phrases that touch me:
"He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases
...The Lord is merciful and loving-slow to anger and full of constant love
He does not keep rebuking:He is not angry forever
...He knows what we are made of and remembers that we are dust."
I am reminded that I manage my expectations of myself and others through the gift of God's grace.
I forgive because I am forgiven.
Blessings-Penny
Friday, September 12, 2014
more on those "expectations"
I've been giving more thought on "managing our expectations." As I said last time, I think managing our expectations decreases our stress and is a good thing. However I also think managing our expectations of others can sometimes lead to alot of stuffed disappointment and anger.
I expected a phone call from my son before he headed out on a 2 week hike in the Sierra Nevada mountains. I wanted to hear his plans and excitement. I wanted to get the web site to monitor his GPS. I wanted to tell him to be safe. When I contacted his wife on the day before I thought he was to leave, he had already left. I was disappointed but in my head gave alot of excuses--"he was busy packing...he had alot on his mind." My husband said, "Don't you get tired of giving excuses for other people?"
Whoa! Yes, I do. Along with "managing my expectations" I need to acknowledge my hurt and disappointment. Otherwise it just sits in there as an irritant. Years ago in a counseling class, I learned the concept of not stuffing our emotional garbage in a bag that we save up and then tend to dump at inappropriate times. I'm not one to dump very often but I do let it seep out. Just as destructive. Not a good thing!
I also need to remember that I pray God forgives the times I disappointment him. I hope He "manages His expectations" of me. I pray He isn't stuffing my garbage in a bag waiting to dump it on me.
How about you?
Blessings-Penny
I expected a phone call from my son before he headed out on a 2 week hike in the Sierra Nevada mountains. I wanted to hear his plans and excitement. I wanted to get the web site to monitor his GPS. I wanted to tell him to be safe. When I contacted his wife on the day before I thought he was to leave, he had already left. I was disappointed but in my head gave alot of excuses--"he was busy packing...he had alot on his mind." My husband said, "Don't you get tired of giving excuses for other people?"
Whoa! Yes, I do. Along with "managing my expectations" I need to acknowledge my hurt and disappointment. Otherwise it just sits in there as an irritant. Years ago in a counseling class, I learned the concept of not stuffing our emotional garbage in a bag that we save up and then tend to dump at inappropriate times. I'm not one to dump very often but I do let it seep out. Just as destructive. Not a good thing!
I also need to remember that I pray God forgives the times I disappointment him. I hope He "manages His expectations" of me. I pray He isn't stuffing my garbage in a bag waiting to dump it on me.
How about you?
Blessings-Penny
Saturday, September 6, 2014
managing expectations
We just returned from a 2 day trip up to middle Nevada. The purpose of the trip was to ride the Nevada Railroad train called the "Star Gazer." It was advertised as "seeing the stars like you have never seen them before." We were excited. More on that later.
As a side trip we decided to first visit Great Basin National Park...a "glorious expanse of mountains and desert." When we talked with the park ranger, she informed us the mountain view road that is the "treasure" of the park was being regraveled and would not be open for a few hours. Even if we chose to go, the new gravel might slow the drive significantly...and though the views were lovely, some of the overlooks were better than others. As we asked questions and tried to read between the lines of what she was telling us, she said she was trying to "manage our expectations." After further consideration and watching and listening to other visitor's questions, it became clear that this national park is a "glorious" place for hikers, bikers, motorcyclists, and off road enthusiasts. Not so much for us!
We then drove to the town of Ely where the Star Gazer train resides. Our expectations were high. We expected a rural sky in the wide open spaces where we would see the night sky absolutely covered in stars. Not so much! A beautiful moon outshined the Milky Way and though there were some lovely stars, the scene in no way matched the brilliant starlit skies over Galway Bay in Ireland, western Montana or Vermont skies ---skies we have had the blessed miracle to enjoy. As Ranger Sandra had said we needed to "manage our expectations" about this train ride that we had so been looking forward to.
So we laughed about the reality. We took great pleasure in the drives up and back---wide open spaces, beautiful rock formations, dry river beds that clearly formed some of the spectacular scenery and made us wonder how and what happened to that river. We talked about the need to "manage our expectations" in so many areas of our lives---what we expect of ourselves and each other, what we expect of our children, what we expect of our decision to live here in Las Vegas, what we expect of our church community.
Where in your life might you need to "manage your expectations?"--I pray it will lead you to less stress, more laughter.
Blessings-Penny
As a side trip we decided to first visit Great Basin National Park...a "glorious expanse of mountains and desert." When we talked with the park ranger, she informed us the mountain view road that is the "treasure" of the park was being regraveled and would not be open for a few hours. Even if we chose to go, the new gravel might slow the drive significantly...and though the views were lovely, some of the overlooks were better than others. As we asked questions and tried to read between the lines of what she was telling us, she said she was trying to "manage our expectations." After further consideration and watching and listening to other visitor's questions, it became clear that this national park is a "glorious" place for hikers, bikers, motorcyclists, and off road enthusiasts. Not so much for us!
We then drove to the town of Ely where the Star Gazer train resides. Our expectations were high. We expected a rural sky in the wide open spaces where we would see the night sky absolutely covered in stars. Not so much! A beautiful moon outshined the Milky Way and though there were some lovely stars, the scene in no way matched the brilliant starlit skies over Galway Bay in Ireland, western Montana or Vermont skies ---skies we have had the blessed miracle to enjoy. As Ranger Sandra had said we needed to "manage our expectations" about this train ride that we had so been looking forward to.
So we laughed about the reality. We took great pleasure in the drives up and back---wide open spaces, beautiful rock formations, dry river beds that clearly formed some of the spectacular scenery and made us wonder how and what happened to that river. We talked about the need to "manage our expectations" in so many areas of our lives---what we expect of ourselves and each other, what we expect of our children, what we expect of our decision to live here in Las Vegas, what we expect of our church community.
Where in your life might you need to "manage your expectations?"--I pray it will lead you to less stress, more laughter.
Blessings-Penny
Monday, September 1, 2014
procrastination
I'm not much of a procrastinator. I like getting projects completed. I don't like the stress I create for myself when I wait for the last minute. However, I don't like scheduling or ordering stuff on the phone and even less on the computer. There's just something---maybe I am concerned I'll get it wrong. I often let it niggle at me for days at a time.
But yesterday I went ahead and scheduled and cancelled 2 things that aren't really even "due" for a month. Boy, do I feel like a load is off today. I'm smiling and so pleased with myself...really over nothing! But it's a wonderful feeling and I'll take it.
Is there something you'd like to complete today that would decrease your stress, give you a sense of accomplishment ---even if it's small? Go ahead---do it!!
Blessings-Penny
But yesterday I went ahead and scheduled and cancelled 2 things that aren't really even "due" for a month. Boy, do I feel like a load is off today. I'm smiling and so pleased with myself...really over nothing! But it's a wonderful feeling and I'll take it.
Is there something you'd like to complete today that would decrease your stress, give you a sense of accomplishment ---even if it's small? Go ahead---do it!!
Blessings-Penny
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