travel

We are off on another trip. This time it's California-San Francisco, Los Angeles, Carlsbad. I'll present a workshop on "the book;" visit a college friend in L.A. and see my son and his family in Carlsbad. He has recently returned from a year in Afghanistan. It's all good. But I must say it's a stressful,complicated trip. Lots of airplanes, trains, and multiple hotels.

We have travelled 6 times in the past 4 months. Lots of planning. What has been wonderful has been the connecting with old friends and the celebrating with family. For me that is the most meaningful travel...friends and family...not just new sights and places.

And when this trip is complete,I yearn to be here at home. Home where spring is now in full bloom, home where there is time for sitting on the deck looking at the brook, home where we pull weeds and plant flowers, home where I walk beside the waterfall and over the mountain, home where I am at peace, home where God gives me creativity,home where I have a place to be with women in recovery, home where I quietly thank God for all His blessings...my physical home and my spiritual home.

Why wouldn't I yearn for this place?
Where are you today?
Where do you yearn to be-emotionally, physically, spiritually?
Where do you find peace?
What are your blessings?

Blessings-Penny

Parenting

I have been travelling and visiting friends and family over the last several weeks. I apologize for not submitting new posts. While visiting families with children of varying ages, I was again struck that possibly THE most important role we have is that of mother/parent...being a role model, teaching accountability and responsibility, teaching good communication skills, playing, loving, laughing, teaching how to be a friend, honoring, respecting. The list of what children learn from us is unbelievable whether we are mother or father.

One child was a bit lippy to her mother. How did she learn that was ok?
Another was horrified when she thought she had lost her debit card. How did she learn to problem solve that?
Another was up at 7 a.m. getting ready to run a half marathon. Where did that discipline come from?
A 16 year old boy has a new girlfriend. How will he navigate that terrain?

They will learn by watching their parents.

What will your children learn from you in that informal, day to day role modeling that you do?

Only one of these families has a formal spiritual life.

How will these children learn about God's love?

I worry.

Blessings-Penny

By Name

One of the parts of the Easter gospel that I particularly love is that Mary Magdalene did not recognize Jesus when she went to the tomb on Easter morning. She thought He was the gardner. It was not until "He called her by name" that she recognized him.

Sometimes I wonder how it would feel to have God call me by name. Wouldn't that be an incredible experience? And then again, I sometimes believe He calls me by name---when there is something beautiful in nature is He saying, "I created this. Look, Penny." When one of my sons phones and says, "Hi, Mom. Just was thinking about you -or-what was that recipe you used to make for prime rib?" Is that God saying, "I created this child, this relationship for you."

How does God call us by name in our recovery? Does He say, "This is a gift for you." Do you hear Him call you by name? Do you answer?

Blessings-Penny

darkness

Yesterday was Holy Thursday.

I attended a weekly writer's group at the local recovery center. The group is led by a woman who believes in the healing power of writing and who wishes to improve her and others' writing skills. In a brief 10 minute exercise yesterday, each participant took 10 minutes to become aware of the sense of their surroundings-the noise, the smells, the colors, the feeling of the place and to write about that experience.

As each person read their paragraph I realized how much I learned about each of them-their use of their senses, their sense of self and their story. It was a powerful way for them to learn about themselves and for the rest of the group to learn about them. One writer used the term, "Oh know!" What a clever way to phrase her "knowing." A woman new to the group wrote only a few sentences and then was inspired to continue writing---energized by the group. Another wrote of the quiet and a reminder of working on a puzzle with her grand daughter.

The day was Holy Thursday. As I walked to my car I had the sense of the many ways we push back the darkness.

During this Easter season how will you push back the darkness?
Will you "watch one hour" with someone in pain?

Blessings-Penny

second question

As a therapist and as a person interested in other people's lives, I have learned it's important to "ask the second question." By that I mean that we often ask friends, family, new acquaintances such questions as, "How are you?" or even "What's happening?" They may tell us the facts and give us a response to that question. But to really learn about that person and what's important to them, it's important to ask "the second question?" So once they have responded to that first question, you might ask the seceond question such as "What does that mean for you?" or "How does that impact you?" Then we get to hear not only "the facts" but also the meaning behind the facts. We get to hear what their heart is saying.

In the last blog, I asked you if you feel God transforming you in your recovery. The second question and even the third might be: "How do you feel that transformation?" "What difference do you feel in your life as you become aware of God's grace, God's promise, and God's gift of recovery?"

It seems to me those are really important questions to continue to ask ourselves as we are transformed by God's miracle.

Blessings-Penny

water to wine

There has been a Lenten discussion series at our church which I have been attending. The series is based on readings by C.S. Lewis and the group leader encourages us to focus on where the readings "intersect with our lives." Unfortunately sometimes the discussions seem to focus more on what the participants disagree with in the readings than how they intersect with our lives.

However last evening I was really touched by something the leader said. It was not even related to the readings. However the leader (a retired pastor) was lamenting that too often Sunday sermons do not speak to the heart of the listener. When the sermon doesn't speak to our heart we don't see how the epistle or gospel "intersect with our lives." He gave this example: "When we hear the gospel lesson of Christ changing the water into wine at the marriage feast at Cana, too often the sermon focuses on things such as the history of Jewish wedding feasts or the fact that it was Christ's first public miracle. What is missed is that this miracle speaks to how Christ can transform our lives. It is a miracle of transformation and the message to us is that Christ can transform our lives."

I've probably heard that gospel 100 times and I never heard that message, that promise.

In recovery the promise to us is that Christ can and will transform our lives!
Are you feeling that miracle??
Blessings-Penny

"unexpected tears"

Joe and I recently did an adult education class on substance abuse and recovery at a church in Minneapolis. Joe presented first and then I got up to give a brief synopsis of my book. When I came to the front of the room, a woman in the front row was quietly crying. During my talk I also noticed a relative of ours, a young woman who is having a difficult time in her family,was also there. Her eyes looked dead-absolutely without life or even hope.

I continued with my overview of the book and came to the chapter on grief and loss/guilt and shame. I spoke briefly of the death of my daughter but moved over that material pretty quickly. Suddenly I found tears in my eyes and found it difficult to continue with my talk. Joe spoke from the audience. "Penny, read the quote about unexpected tears." I did.

"...But of this you can be sure. Whenver you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where, if your soul is to be saved, you should go next." This is from "Listening to Your Life" p. 237, by Frederick Buechner.

I'm still trying to discern what those tears meant on that Sunday morning.
What do your tears mean? What do they mean in your relationship with God?
Listen.

Blessings-Penny