joyfully

I was recently complaining about a task I "had" to do. It was a task I considered a charitable thing to do. My husband asked, "Are you doing this with joy?" He paused and then continued, "If you can't do it with joy, you really shouldn't be doing it." That really stopped me in my tracks. He was absolutely right. If I can't do my tasks with joy, especially the things I choose to volunteer, I shouldn't be doing them at all.

I have been thinking about the "joy" in alot of other tasks that I sometimes consider a burden. Shouldn't I cook with "joy?" I am so blessed to have food. Shouldn't I do laundry with "joy?" I am so blessed to have electricity and a washing machine. Shouldn't I clean the bathroom with "joy?" I am so blessed to have running water and an inside toilet.

I am so blessed.Are you?

Blessings-Penny

missing someone

My husband does educational groups at our church. One group is weekly on Sunday morning and it focuses on the readings for the liturgy of that day. This Lent he is conducting a group based on the petitions of the Lord's Prayer. He begins each group with a prayer and then takes an informal assessment of who is there and who is missing. He always reminds us to "pay attention to who is missing. If they miss more than 2 meetings give them a call. If we don't, we have the risk of losing them." Sometimes newcomers to the group laugh quietly when he says, "Who are we missing?" People generally aren't used to being missed. When he next sees a "missing person" he gently inquires about their absence in a concerned way.We all like to know we are missed.

In any group where we are trying to make change, whether it be spiritual or physical or emotional, it is helpful to "miss people," to inquire and call if they are missing several times. It makes a difference.

Who have you noticed is missing?--at a recovery meeting? at church? Will you call?
Are you missing?

Blessings-Penny

Pride

I am aware that pride is listed as a sin but is just a little bit of pride ok? Both my sons are in the active duty military, both having served multiple tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. Their separations from their families have been frequent and incredibly stressful for all. The older son has returned to California, remains in the military and has settled back in with his family. The younger son has returned to his family's home in Virginia but now has been told he must move to Georgia. That would mean uprooting 4 kids ( all teenagers) from school and upending their place of security.

Monday morning my son told the person in charge of the orders that he will not move. Now that is a decision that will probably mean he has to retire from the military. When the military says "You go" there isn't much negotiation.

My pride comes from my son's decision to place his family as his first priority. He is a talented young man and can probably find a reasonable job-even in this economy. What I am proud of is his ability to place his family's needs first. He certainly could have decided to go to Georgia by himself and see them on 4 day weekends; but he says he has been away much too much and "everyone I love" is in Virginia. He loves the military-he loves his family more. What a wonderful example to his children about family and priorities. This is how children learn.

Are we able to make decisions that are not "all about me?" Do we make decisions taking in considerations about what's best for everyone, what's best for my recovery?

Blessings-Penny

March 1

It's March 1 and the book is about ready for the publisher. Writing this book has been a marvelous experience. For 4 months I have focused on scripture, what it means as devotion and what it means in my daily life. Does it make a difference in my sense of God's presence in my life? Does it make a difference in how I interact with others? Does it make a difference in how I face the demons in my life-what ever that demon might be?

When I have finally submitted all those 52 weekly chapters will I keep this focus on God in my life as a priority; or will I slip back into a more casual relationship-more just fitting it into the other stuff?

I sense the writing of this book as God's gift to me. How do I keep this gift alive?

How do you keep god's presence alive in your life-in your recovery?

Blessings-Penny

book

I have not been posting as much as I would like to. My new book, "Filling the God-shaped Void-a book of daily meditations" was due yesterday. I hope to really have it complete by March 1 but it is consuming most of my writing time.

But I have been thinking of this writing and musing over a couple of things. One is a couple of newspaper articles on child rearing.Since I feel being a good parent is absolutely one of the priorities in life, I'm always interested in the latest trends. One article reviewed a book written by a woman who had lived in France. She was struck by the better behavior of French children than her American children. After talking and observing many French families, she determined that the better behavior of French children was due to the firmer limits that French children have. Parents speak in firmer tones when setting limits. French children have only one snack per day-at 4 pm. The American writer mused, "Are we afraid to make our children unhappy?"It all made sense to me. When I raised my children we certainly had firm schedules and things like good behavior in restaurants or a church was an understood requirement. However I also have been supportive of the newer generations more "at ease" approach to parenting-children included in more gatherings, schedules more flexible.

It is all so very important and I wonder how we find the right balance? It is certainly worth ongoing conversation.
Blessings-Penny

Blessings-Penny

relapse and recovery

A recent article by a physician involved with the recovery of doctors who abuse drugs and alcohol had an interesting idea. This doctor who was in charge of this physicians' recovery program said that their success and minimal relapse rates indicated that relapse is not necessarily a part of the disease of addiction. He maintained that the physicinas enrolled in their program relapsed at a far lesser rate than the average recovering program. Monitoring, drug urines and support were essential parts of their program.

The reduced relapse rate for those physicians is certainly admirable. However I wonder how applicable that is for the average recovering person. After all look at the incentive for recovery for the physician. If he does not relapse, if he moves into sustained recovery, he returns to a lucrative job, probably a family ready to stand by him (after all they have alot to lose if they don't)and a supportive network.

What does the average person in recovery have? Often the average person has lost a job, has no housing, no transportation, no skills and a probation system that is looking for him or her to screw up.

It seems to me for the average person to sustain recovery it would take the same things physicians have- a job, a home,a supportive network. As the very least, the average person working towards recovery needs to feel their lives are important enoughto save. They need to have enough self esteem to know they are worth saving. They need to know they can change and things in their environment can change. They need to have a spiritual connection that promises them they are loved.

How are we ever going to get there?

Blessings-Penny

Being pleased

Chistopher Hitchens wrote an article, his final one, in Vanity Fair recently that has great advice for all of us. He was talking about Charles Dickens and Dickens' respect for childhood. The part that spoke to me was Hitchens' suggestion, through his analysis of Dickens, that we all "hang onto our childhood." His perspective was that if we do that we are more apt to be generous in spirit,to have a "freshness and gentleness and a capacity to be pleased."

Isn't that a beautiful phrase-"a capacity to be pleased?" Do you still get pleased at things or is your more general attitude one of criticism and judgment? Criticism and judgment are easy patterns to slide into. After all there is alot to be critical of in today's culture. But Dickens delighted in birthday parties, being lavish about them and celebrating that we were "unborn and now we are launched."

Do you still "have a capacity to be pleased? Do you still delight in lavish birthdays? Wouldn't it be wonderful if friends described you as "gentle and fresh?"

Blessings-Penny