Fractured Families

I've spoken with several friends since Thanksgiving who shared sad incidents of fractured families... a  father who didn't come to the family gathering... a teenager who felt ordered to spend Thanksgivng with this or that parent depending on the divorce agreement. These family splits become more noticeable during the holidays when our society pretends "all is calm." The friend whose father did not come said she cried all day Monday.

What do we do when our feelings are hurt? When we feel we have no control in a situation? It is so easy to get angry, to be overwhelmed with sadness. How do we begin to recognize that we have no control over others but we do have control over how we respond?

We begin to acknowledge our part in the situation. What is this about? I try to remind myself "all behavior has meaning." What is the meaning of this other person's behavior? What is the meaning of my behavior-of my response?

Am I able to begin to forgive? Can I begin to forgive the rejection? Can I remind myself that I am forgiven-forgiven by God's grace-and that because I am forgiven I can begin to forgive others.

A wonderful process this forgiveness-as we move toward Advent.

Blessings-Penny

Blessings

This is the time of year we are encouraged to consider the many blessings in our lives. And we do have such abundant blessings. Each of us needs to truly pause in a some quiet place to  consider our blessings and thank God for them.

And what about those for whom daily life is a struggle-for those who lost someone dear to them this year-the first holidays without them---for those who live on the street ---for those who lost a job---for those who care for a  sick loved one day in and day out-- for those who had some recovery time and then had a SLIP (Sobriety Lost Its Priority).

We thank God for all we are blessed with and humbly pray for those who struggle---that they feels God's presence---that they have a glimpse of His promise to always be with them. It makes all the difference!

Blessings-Penny

Hurtful words

Someone I care about looked troubled. I asked what was wrong. She shared with me that her grandchild had said that she, the grandchild, hesitated to introduce her new boyfriend to my friend because she, the grandmother, was "crazy." This friend had struggled with addictions for many years and her behavior had been out of bounds during that time. However she has been in recovery for many years and the grandchild has not experienced any of the addictive behavior.

What to do? Talk with the family member who clearly tells the old stories? Talk with the grand daughter about the comment? Let it go?

I encouraged her to talk with the grand daughter. Ask if she was kidding or serious. Ask how she experiences my friend. Listen!!! Share how much she loves the grand daughter and wants a relationship built on their time together.

Generally we don't do well when we stuff our feelings. It takes courage and grace to work through old issues and pain. It feels like a risk to address the issues. All we can do is express our feelings, regrets and desire for  new life and new relationships.

We pray for grace and for the Spirit to be with us.

Blessings-Penny

Law and Gospel

My husband and I often talk about the difference between living by the law and living by the gospel. I fear that for much of my life I have lived by the law...rules that kept me in bounds but didn't offer much joy. To live by the gospel means that because God loves me, I do the loving thing in the relationships and roles of my life. What a difference.

My husband was asked to read a novel written by a friend, a novel in which a young woman avoids pre-marital sex because it is against the teaching of her church. What if we taught that we avoid pre-marital sex because through God's love of us we have learned what honoring each other means, what cherishing the relationship means. 

In what circumstances in my life can I choose to do the loving thing  because I know of God's love for me?

Blessings-Penny

election

Tomorrow is election day here in the U.S. I clarify that because some viewers of this site are from outside of the U.S. It is a very close race for the presidency and our state of Missouri has a nasty contest for state senator. I have very specific choices for both of those offices and will be up late tomorrow watching the returns.

And then I watch the news of fighting and deaths involved with politics in other regions of the world.
How I am so fortunate to live in the United States-free to disagree? free to not be herded to a refugee camp?  free to not fear rape or beatings related to my politics?

We are so blessed. How can we be so ungrateful? How can we fight so bitterly among ourselves? How can we be better citizens--of our nation---of our world?

How? Say a prayer of thanksgiving to God! VOTE!!!!
Blessings-Penny

mortality

A close friend of mine was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer about 6 months ago. We moved from where she lives in Vermont just after her diagnosis. I have not been in contact with her as much as I could have been or should have been. I use the excuse that I don't want to bother her but we all know that when we are in crisis, a phone call from a friend can be the connection we are longing for.

When I do talk with her she seems to be moving through her grief as well as any of us would. She has days she is "ready" and days she grieves. She has a strong spirituality and calls this a gift...a belief in a hereafter. I am reminded of my mother's final words to me, "I'm not afraid."

Do I have that belief?Do you have that belief?

Blessings-Penny

same Guy

Last Sunday a family I did not recognize came into the pew ahead of us at Church. They were smiling, pleasant, well dressed. After a few minutes of settling in ,the little boy-maybe age 6- turned to his dad and pointed to the statue of Jesus at the altar. "That's the same Guy we have at our church, isn't it? ...He's in different colored clothes but it's the same Guy!" he said excitedly.

His dad assured him it was the "same Guy" and the child sat quietly and pondered that.. I wondered what he had been taught about differing religions, different denominations.

Out of the mouths of babes---"It's the same Guy."

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all come to the awareness that it is the "same Guy" and quit our bickering over who has the right God, who has the right interpretations? What time and money could be saved and spent on taking care of God's kingdom and God's people.

Blessings-Penny