Intuition

There was a recent magazine column about intuition. Six "luminaries" commented on what they think intuition is and how they use it. Several of the writers spoke of intuition as listening-listening to the whisperings, making room to hear the subtle things. They also talked about self-confidence. It takes self confidence to make decisions that are not clear but one must not make decisions based on fear and anxiety.

All that seems very well thought out. When I mentioned intuition to my husband, he said, "I think all that leaves out the Holy Spirit." He recently made a decision that impacts both of us and when he did, it was like a weight had been lifted. We had been challenged by the decision for several months, weighing the pros and cons. When he finally made the decision it was based on facts but more on what brings calmness and peace into our lives. That is intuition-a decision based on facts,whisperings, listening ---it is also prayer, openness to the Holy Spirit.

Today will you listen to the Holy Spirit? Will you let that voice enter your decision making?

Blessings-Penny

tragedy

Our local newspaper has been filled with the tragic story of a 2 year old boy left in the car by his father on a 90 degree day. The child died. The father had secured his son in the car seat, returned to his house and passed out from being drunk. What must that father be going through??? Of course the tragedy hits the whole family, the mother, the sister. But I can't help being haunted by what the father must be going through.

Those of us challenged by substance use addiction know the stupid, selfish, frightening behaviors we engaged in while drunk or high. Some of us were lucky enough to avoid ruining our lives. Some of were not. We lost jobs, families and lives.

For all of us who are safe enough to read this today (or write this today), let us thank God for protecting us and those we love. Let us show that thanks in continuing our recovery, no matter the struggle.
Let us pray for God to let this father know, that no matter what has happened, he is held in God's love and forgiveness.

Blessings-Penny

petty stuff

The petty stuff can really screw up my day. Sometimes my husband and I can absolutely ruin a day or at least a few hours by a misunderstanding, a harsh word. And then it takes some real effort to pull things back and take care of the relationship. That effort  is necessary. Yesterday was one of those days. The issue is not what was important. What was important was not letting it build. It is so easy for one misunderstanding or argument to lead to the next. It all can lead to a pattern of communicating and being with each other that is destructive for all around to hear. We all know couples who pick at each other--or parents who constantly criticize or correct their children.

Listen to how you talk with others-with those you love. If there is a conflict, a misunderstanding are you able to address it--to say, "We need to work this through.?" This kind of communication is one of the most critical   skills you can teach your children. Do you role model this kind of communication?

Is loving communication part of your ministry?
Blessings-Penny

learn

 "You can learn while you are crying." This was another comment by a recent graduation speaker that struck me as pertinent to this process of  recovery. This comment reminded me of the challenge of relapse. When we relapse into whatever our addiction or challenge is, we often feel overwhelmed by guilt and shame. In that guilt and shame we feel sad and often at the same time we feel angry at ourselves ---and maybe even at others who we tend to blame for our relapse. That is all part of the disease-denial, anger, guilt, shame. But when we stay stuck in those feelings, we don't learn. We don't learn how we got into this mess this time. We don't learn what our responsibility is. We don't learn what to do differently. In our sadness, we may cry and feel hopeless and helpless. "How can I start again? What is wrong with me?"

I worked with many persons who were "chronic relapsers." Often they blamed their spouse, their children, their boss, their stress for those chronic relapses and yet felt helpless to do anything differently. Too busy to get to meetings, too busy to exercise, too busy to get to aftercare, too busy to examine their behavior.. too busy, too busy. They cried but they didn't learn. "If I do what I've always done, I'll get what I always got."

Too busy to pray. Too busy to turn to God and ask for help.
Today can you turn to God and feel Him say, "Come?" Can you learn that God is the resource that is always there? Every single time He is there holding out His hands to you.

Blessings-Penny

embrace your pathology

We attended a college graduation over the weekend with two very dynamic speakers. I jotted down a couple of their thoughts which I'd like to pass on...one for today, one for next time.
One speaker was a very successful gentleman from Ghana who had focused his life's work on feeding the starving people of Africa. He had successfully done this work through engineering and creative partnerships with business and industry. One of the comments he made was "Embrace your pathology." His point was that it is our uniqueness, our differences, our creative thought that give us the freedom to solve problems. He said sometimes that uniqueness is considered pathological. People might say we, or our idea, is crazy.

 He also commented that "balance is over rated." Seeking balance in our lives restrains us from persuing "impossible" dreams.

Now having been a psychiatric nurse for many years and working to help people contain their pathology and to find balance in their lives, I could only smile at this man's philosophies. But immediately I understood his perspective. If we can embrace our differences, use them for creativity, and go about our goals with passion, what might we achieve?
He also said that if we always work in a room of like-minded people we will never creatively solve problems. We will do what we have always done. It takes a room full of people with varying "pathologies" to move into solutions.

What 'pathology" of yours do you need to embrace today? Does it feel a bit of a relief to consider "embracing" that pathology rather than containing it? Do you struggle to maintain "balance" in your life? What if you persued a passion with all your strength-rather than with balance. Would that make a difference?

Can you remember that the Holy Spirit wishes you freedom and creativity?

Blessings-Penny

radio interview

I was interviewed on a morning radio talk show today. It was the third time and I am always so very pleased to be invited. The show is from a Catholic network entitled Relevant Radio and is primarily throughout the Midwest and down into Oklahoma and  Texas.
The interviewer asks about both my books and we focus on addiction and recovery. As usual today following the interview I thought of many comments or points I could have made that might have been more meaningful than what I said. How come that always happens? I can be so clever by myself!
Anyway one of the issues we talked about was how difficult it is for the family of the alcoholic/addict. How can the family deal with relapse-since relapse is a frequent issue in this disease of addiction. The point I wish I had more more strongly is that relapse IS part of the disease..just like relapse is part of the disease of diabetes or any chronic disease. And what our focus needs to be is on minimizing the consequences of the relapse. How can we support the addict to move back into recovery? How can we support them to move out of the relapse more quickly?
One of the ways is to help them remember how good it felt to be in recovery...how much less the fear was...how much closer they felt to family...how they didn't have to hide their behavior...how they could be honest.
Relapse is not the end of the world. It is important  that the relapses get further and further apart and that the length and amount used get smaller and smaller. That is a measure of recovery. And most importantly the addict and the family remember that God is with them---even in the relapse. Christ was with Peter when Peter was beginning to sink---both when trying to walk to Christ on the water and when the boat felt overwhelmed by the storm. Christ is with us when it feels like we are sinking. He calls us to "Come." When caught in the storm of addiction we must keep our focus on Christ. Christ is the priority.

Today-in any of your challenges is Christ your priority? Do you hear His call to "Come?"

As an aside---my husband and I enjoy doing workshops on issues of addiction, recovery and our relationship with Christ as the foundation of recovery. If your congregation would interested in such a workshop/discussion, please contact me on Facebook--Penny Hauser.

Blessings-Penny

visit

My cousin came for a visit this week. I have not seen Gary for 15 years. We spent some late teenage years and early twenties living close to each other and double dated and partied and laughed together on the west coast. We have kept in touch over the years and had occasional visits with families. But Gary is having one of those "significant" birthdays this year and rather than a big cruise or big party, he is flying around the country seeing people he cares about. Isn't that a wonderful way to celebrate? Connecting with people who have been part of your life. Gary has had some serious health issues the last years and has spent some time reflecting on what is important to him. His answer was friends and family.

I was so very honored and touched that I was on his list of visits. It is a gift to know you are important to someone.

Is there someone you could call today-someone you have thinking about-and let them know you care about them-they are important to you.
Blessings-Penny