One of my step-grandaughters is going off to college this week. I live half way across the country and we are not very close. My son and her mother have been married 2 years. Her younger sister seems to be having a very difficult time with the pending separation. Her mother reports that the younger sister feels like it is a death. The sisters have been very close. They have weathered together the divorce of their parents, a tense relationship with their biological father, a significant geographical move during high school to accommodate their mother's marriage to my son, the welcoming of 2 stepbrothers into the family.
My dilemma is how much to say about the younger sister's sadness...and apparently pretty dramatic tears. There's a part of me that wants to say, "For heaven's sake, Anna got into the college she wanted...it's a major step of growing up...be happy for her." And there's another part that does not want to be dismissive of Lexi's feelings. It is a major loss from her perspective.
I firmly believe the "loving thing" is for Lexi to say to Anna that she will miss her terribly and that their closeness is a true gift...that she wants to hear all about college. It takes a big heart, lots of courage, and much self sacrifice to choose "the loving thing"---for it to be about Anna's excitement.
Should I say that? Would it be helpful?
It is a choice---for me to have the courage to say it---for Lexi to say it to Anna.! Is there a place today you can choose "the loving thing?"
Blessings-Penny
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