"This is a terrible disease."

Yes, it is. Self help is correct. It is "cunning, baffling and powerful." It is also insidious---sly. The "terrible disease" is a quote of a woman whose husband stays in a chronic relapse. It may well cost him his life and it is also costing her and her children their lives---their lives of peace.The constant anxiety of "what now?...what should I do?...what next?...if only I had some idea of what will happen?" Lives lived in that kind of anxiety  create their own terrible diseases.

And then there is the mother who says, "I'm worried about Madeline's (her adult daughter) drinking. I've been aware of it recently when we are together. She arrives having had a few. I can tell....It keeps me awake at night."  I encourage the mother to do a "soft intervention." Use "I" statements--"Madeline, this is what I have seen"  Be specific--give concrete examples. Say things like, "I'm concerned or I'm alarmed." No blaming...no judging. Just this is what I've seen.

Of course it is scary to "confront." But if we saw saw a mole changing color or growing on our loved one, we wouldn't hesitate to say we are concerned. We'd probably march them right to the doctor. If we believe addiction is a disease or affliction or behavior or whatever, we must do the same. It is terrible and the consequences are terrible. We intervene or confront out of love. It is the loving thing to do. There might not be a change immediately but, trust me, the message is heard. It was those kinds of "soft interventions" by people who cared for me that I ultimately heard and moved me to recovery.

You can do the same. It is a terrible disease.
Blessings---Penny