About a year ago I shared concerns about the daughter of a friend. The daughter had been binging and purging and had recently cut herself on purpose. These behaviors had apparently been going on for some time but family had not recognized them. She was hospitalized at that time and has been in and out of treatment centers since then.
More recently she totaled her car, stole oxycotin from her parents' medicine cabinet and this week was arrested for driving a car under the influence (of marijuana). We can see a pattern here but the family is again having difficulty naming it and dealing with it.They are trying the tough love approach but that is difficult with a young woman over 21.
One of the therapists told the mother, "This is your daughter's problem-not yours." On an intellectual level that is true and a valid therapeutic approach. But on an emotional level that is so difficult to take into one's heart. "This is my child...always and forever." As parents we want to spare our children pain, to hold and comfort. And at some level this daughter will always be her child...no matter what age and no matter what well-intentioned therapists say.
I pray these parents can enact the "tough" part of tough love and also continue to demonstrate the "love" that will always be there for "child."
I pray these parents know they are held by God who knows their problem is also His problem-that they are His children forever.
Blessings-Penny
No comments:
Post a Comment