well, this is new

I was/am in a "dip." I'm reluctant to call it a depression---sounds so clinical. Anyway "depression" has to last for a period of time for it to be diagnosed as such; so I'll just call this a "dip." And I do feel better this morning --but why the dip?

Is it a let down from the workshop on Saturday? Is it worry about my son and his job situation? Is it an "existential" crisis about "what now?" in my life---sort of a delayed reaction to that last big birthday? A fall out from a recent criticism from someone I care about?

Probably a collection of all those things. But I know I don't like it! If this is what depression feels like, then I have a better sensitivity to people who are challenged by depression as an illness. No energy, no interest in being involved, no interest in talking.

So why do I feel a bit better this morning? Well last night at a meeting a woman who did not come to the workshop apologized for missing it. She also said that women at another meeting told her how "wonderful" it was and how much they got from the day. So that felt really good---no judgment, no stigma. Last night as Joe and I went to sleep we talked about the "dip" and the reasons. He just let me talk and offered reassurance, support and love. No attempt to solve it---he just listened. And now I am sharing it with you---writing, my version of journaling.

All the things I encourage others to do! Speak those words of encouragement to others! Listen! Write!
And most of all pray!!! Talk with God about your sadness, your fears, your anger. He listens! He wants us to come to Him. He wants us to be in relationship with Him. Have a meditation book you love nearby. Pick it up. Read. He will speak to you. He will speak of peace.

Blessings-Penny