Anger III

I wish I had titled these last blogs "forgiveness" rather than anger. Forgiveness surely is the goal.

Another consideration that Desmond Tutu says is part of the process of forgiveness is to develop empathy for the person with whom you are angry. In that process we consider what might have happened to the person who has hurt us. What happened in their past that shaped them, their response to us, their interaction with us? We may never know what happened but we can be assured that something or someone has caused them to be who they are with their own anxieties,fears and beliefs.

Are you willing to consider what happened to the person with whom you are angry?
Do you know specifically what happened? Can you consider that they were shaped by something that hurt them and they are reacting to you in a way that feels protective to them?

The Amish say forgiveness is work that never ends.

Blessings-Penny

Forgiveness-II

"Forgiveness is not forgetting, nor is it overlooking or excusing. In fact forgiveness is just the opposite. Although we may forgive someone, we still hold them acoountable for his or her behavior." p. 162-"Broken by Addiction, Blessed by God." Again this material is from Desmond Tutu's book "No Future Without Forgiveness."

As I think about the issue about which I am working through my anger, I am reassured to hear from Tutu that I needn't feel I must forget this issue or overlook it or excuse it. The person with whom I am angry shared the issue with others in a way that feels like a betrayal of trust. She could have come to me to sort it through. If we could not have sorted it out, she could have told me she was going to take it to others. The atmosphere feels unsafe. She is accountable for her behavior. I am to forgive AND I hold her accountable.

Jesus says I must forgive 70 times 7-I'm working on that!

Blessings-Penny

forgiveness

I have been very angry with someone in my life for several weeks. I am working on my response and know I must work through the anger for my own peace. My working through it takes me back to my book and the chapter on anger. So for the next few posts I want to focus on the model of forgiveness of Desmond Tutu that is referred to in Chapter 6.

" 'Forgive and forget' is what we are often encouraged to do. But that is not possible-at least the forget part. In fact, we need to remember." p. 180

In discussing the issue and circumstances involved with my anger a couple of people have encouraged me to forget it. They've said things like "You need to move on" or "Maybe we should do a mediation." Both of these responses seem to diminish my feeling. I need to remember because the incident involved someone in power communicating an incident to others in power in an untruthful and demeaning manner. The hurt this has caused felt purposeful. I need to remember so I am careful about what I share with this person both personally and professionally. It is important I acknowledge the pain and not let it fester.

What hurt or pain has been pushed down in your life?
Does the anger set you up for relapse?
Are you willing to begin exploring the issue? It really is important.

Blessings-Penny

selfish actions

This is from a reflection by Walter Wangerin, Jr. "There are no private choices. There is no such thing as 'your own thing.' All selfish action damages those in love with you."


Who are the people in love with you?
How are they damaged if you choose to drink or drug?

Blessings-Penny

prayer for you

This came from a friend and I pass to you with love and blessings:

Dear God,
This is my friend whom I love and this is my prayer for her. Help her live her life to the fullest. Please cause her to excel above her expectations. Help her shine in the darkest of places where it seems impossible to love. Protect her at all times, lift her up when she needs You the most, and let her know when she walks with You, she will always be safe.

Amen!