hope

"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope you have." This is a from the scripture reading of yesterday. It touched me at a spiritual level as well as a recovery level.

Do I have an answer for the reason I have hope? Do you? Do people know you have hope? How do they know that?

What is the reason I have hope? For me it is a faith in God...a faith that He cares about my every day life and that in some way He is involved. I don't understand how. There are days I'm really not sure. But I trust He walks with me in it. It is not a perfect life but He is in it with me...in the good and the bad and happy and the sad.  That gives me hope.

"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope you have."
Wow!

Blessings-Penny

Memorial Day

This Monday is the day we honor the military service men and women who have given their lives for our country's freedom. The service and sacrifice of these persons in the military is staggering. It is "giving their lives" whether they die in the line of duty or live their lives giving that service.

My former father in law, my former husband, and my two sons were/are all career military-Navy and Marines....110 years of service. My grandson is now a Marine and training in reconnaissance. We watched a television documentary of their training on Netflix the other night. If you want to honor the military by having a little insight into their sacrifice, you may want to watch this. It is on Netflix; under television documentary and then under "Surviving the Cut." There are a number of other training films on that site but this is the one about Marine Recon.

I watch this and wonder, "What would I be willing to put this much work, effort and commitment into? Is there anything in my life, I would work that hard for?" I believe we all make sacrifices and work very hard in our own lives to support our political freedoms.

And there is such a freedom in recovery. Freedom from a demon that controls and undermines our ability to be the person God wants us to be. Are you working on your freedom from that demon today? How? Are you "Surviving the Cut?"

Blessings-Penny

power of words

In both my books, "Broken by Addiction, Blessed by God- a woman's path to sustained recovery" and Filling the God-Shaped Void-a book of daily meditations" I emphasize the power of words. The words we use in talking with others have powerful effects on them and the words we hear about us have a powerful effect on who we come to believe we are. I grew up being told I needed to do things "perfectly." Attempts at sewing were never good enough...seams were ripped again and again.  Attempts at cooking were often thrown in the trash. The words that accompanied those attempts were not necessarily mean but certainly left the impression that my domestic abilities were sadly lacking. Unfortunately those messages translated to my entire sense of not being at all creative. I knew I was smart enough---I could get good grades, but I certainly wasn't creative.

Recently I heard a story that re-emphasizes this power of words.  One of my favorite successful humorous writers is Erma Bombeck. She wanted to be a writer and enrolled at a midwest state university in journalism. She submitted many articles for the school newspaper and never had one published. She was encouraged to change majors. Instead she changed universities and wrote a humorous essay for a class assignment. The professor said to her, "You can write!" Later at the height of her success as a humorous writer she was syndicated in over 900 newspapers.

I, too, was fortunate enough to have a professor/mentor in graduate school who, after I completed an oral presentation intersecting several theories into one visual grid, said, "Penny, you are so creative." These were clearly powerful words in my professional life---personal life too.

I repeat this theme because I believe it is so very, very important. Listen to how you talk to your children, your spouse, your friends, your co-workers. Is there a difference? Would you speak to your friends the way you speak to your children?

Do you speak in loving words to those you love? You are so powerful.

Blessings-Penny

forces of nature

Forces of nature-laws of nature-miracles. How does it all work???
This week we went to Zion National Park in Utah. What a spectacular place. Millions of years in formation. Apparently millions of years ago it was a desert larger than the Sahara Desert  The formations we now see took millions of years wind and water and shifting earth.

Then we returned home to watch the fires in California. Again the wind forming "fireacanes" Literally small tornadoes and hurricanes formed within the fires from the heat and wind. My son and family live in San Marcos and were evacuated... the forces of nature touching their lives.

How is God involved in all of these forces of nature? How is He involved in my daily life? How is He involved in the accidental death of my daughter...how is He involved in my grandson's broken neck that did NOT leave him paralyzed?

How is He involved in recovery? My recovery---your recovery? Miracles.
Blessings-Penny

simple things

Our son and family were here for dinner last night. We sat on the deck after dinner and brought a large cardboard container out there for our 20 month old grandson to play in. Well, play he did! The container was on its side, so he could walk in and out and pull the "doors" closed. He would close himself in; we would call his name and in a moment he would come bursting out with the most delighted smile and laughter. Then he would do a little happy dance with all of us laughing and clapping with him.

Simple things.  No need for expensive toys. An evening that was just as much fun-just as much a maker of memories for us as any expensive Las Vegas show. Life is not about accumulating "stuff." Cardboard boxes are enough for a beautiful evening.

What are some of your happiest childhood memories? I would guess some are of simple times. What was your happiest summer? Can you recapture some of that this summer for yourself?

That is all part of this gift of recovery. Now that you have some sense of the peace that comes with recovery, gift yourself with some simple pleasures.


Blessings-Penny

Transformed

During this Easter Season I continue to moved be by the number of times the gospels and other meditations speak of the apostles and disciples not recognizing Christ after He was risen. I remember my grand daughter asking me once, "How did Jesus walk through the wall into the Upper Room when He appeared to the apostles?" It was an innocent, child's question but certainly one that might have entered all of our thoughts at some time. How and who was Christ after the Resurrection? Would I have recognized Him?

One of the thoughts this leads me to is, "Do I  recognize Christ in the people around me?" Is that one of the messages I am to take from these gospels and readings? We are taught that Christ is in every person. Do we believe that? Do we see that? Do we treat every single person as though he or she has Christ? Do we treat are co-worker as we would treat Christ? Do we treat our children as we would Christ?  Do we treat our spouses as we would Christ?

Do we treat ourselves like that? If relapse is a challenge for us, do we remind ourselves that Christ is in us? That He is there holding us?

Blessings-Penny

"This is a terrible disease."

Yes, it is. Self help is correct. It is "cunning, baffling and powerful." It is also insidious---sly. The "terrible disease" is a quote of a woman whose husband stays in a chronic relapse. It may well cost him his life and it is also costing her and her children their lives---their lives of peace.The constant anxiety of "what now?...what should I do?...what next?...if only I had some idea of what will happen?" Lives lived in that kind of anxiety  create their own terrible diseases.

And then there is the mother who says, "I'm worried about Madeline's (her adult daughter) drinking. I've been aware of it recently when we are together. She arrives having had a few. I can tell....It keeps me awake at night."  I encourage the mother to do a "soft intervention." Use "I" statements--"Madeline, this is what I have seen"  Be specific--give concrete examples. Say things like, "I'm concerned or I'm alarmed." No blaming...no judging. Just this is what I've seen.

Of course it is scary to "confront." But if we saw saw a mole changing color or growing on our loved one, we wouldn't hesitate to say we are concerned. We'd probably march them right to the doctor. If we believe addiction is a disease or affliction or behavior or whatever, we must do the same. It is terrible and the consequences are terrible. We intervene or confront out of love. It is the loving thing to do. There might not be a change immediately but, trust me, the message is heard. It was those kinds of "soft interventions" by people who cared for me that I ultimately heard and moved me to recovery.

You can do the same. It is a terrible disease.
Blessings---Penny