Newspapers and television have many articles and programs reviewing the major events of 2015. I enjoy doing the same thing personally. I get out the calendar (we are very last century and continue to use a monthly paper calendar!). I look over each month and smile or cringe at the events and appointments. Not really major events on a grand scale but major in our lives.
The smiles----the move to our new home, the Grand Canyon, the visits with kids in VA. and CA.and the parties they hosted while we were there so we could catch up with their friends,.. Camp CandleGlow-- (babysitting the grandkids with their other grandmother for a week---the playtime), the train trip up the west coast to Victoria and Vancouver, our new dog, Izzy (at times such a delight, at times so psychotic!) ---the groups and workshops, the church family and friends, Mary's continued progress to good health, And there are things that don't appear on the calendar---the continued successes and progress of the older grandkids (all 15!), the concerts, the movies.
The cringes---the medical issues, the unexpected death of Joe's sister, the unnecessary tensions in family.
Many more smiles than cringes but the cringes still pack a wallop.
It really is amazing---how little I know today of what will be the events of 2016. Exciting and scary.
What I do know is that if I am open God will be with me in it all. He will take my hand and walk with me---through the smiles and the cringes.
How about you? Excited? Scared? Open to God's Presence?
Blessings-Penny
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Thursday, December 24, 2015
Merry Christmas!
Comfort and Joy to all....really. Take time to count your blessings.
Blessings-Penny
Blessings-Penny
Friday, December 18, 2015
sadness
Did you see the interview with the two parents whose children had died at Sandy Hook? Did you see the sadness in the mother's eyes. One could literally feel her grief and loss.
And then I gave the talk at the grief group for parents who had lost children here in Las Vegas---some by illness, some by accidents, some by suicide, some by drugs, some by guns.The mother at our table could not stop the tears. Her son had died of a drug/alcohol overdose.
We can't prevent all deaths but there do seem to be some that are preventable. Some gun deaths----even staunch gun owners agree background checks, help for mentally ill, fingerprint required firing are issues we can work toward. Drug and alcohol deaths can be reduced with good treatment. Mothers against drunk driving reduced deaths by thousands.
The sadness is so painful. At this Advent season we are waiting, looking for comfort and joy.
Can we take a few moments today to pray for the parents who are grieving---or anyone we know who is grieving? A friend from many years ago who knew my daughter sends a note every year. She recounts a memory---it is deep comfort.
Can we ask ourselves if there is anyone we can comfort by a phone call, an email, a special card and note?
Blessings-Penny
And then I gave the talk at the grief group for parents who had lost children here in Las Vegas---some by illness, some by accidents, some by suicide, some by drugs, some by guns.The mother at our table could not stop the tears. Her son had died of a drug/alcohol overdose.
We can't prevent all deaths but there do seem to be some that are preventable. Some gun deaths----even staunch gun owners agree background checks, help for mentally ill, fingerprint required firing are issues we can work toward. Drug and alcohol deaths can be reduced with good treatment. Mothers against drunk driving reduced deaths by thousands.
The sadness is so painful. At this Advent season we are waiting, looking for comfort and joy.
Can we take a few moments today to pray for the parents who are grieving---or anyone we know who is grieving? A friend from many years ago who knew my daughter sends a note every year. She recounts a memory---it is deep comfort.
Can we ask ourselves if there is anyone we can comfort by a phone call, an email, a special card and note?
Blessings-Penny
Monday, December 14, 2015
setting myself up
This sweet new dog of ours, Izzy, needs to be spayed. I have been really stressed about it. She is so fearful---shakes and runs at every loud noise; has a low growl when new people confront her; wants to be in my husband's lap whenever he sits down. We took her to the vet for immunizations last week and she was terrified---had to be carried in to the office, growled at the vet.
So I have been awake for two nights dreading what it would take to get her into the vet's office again for the spay and how she would behave. I sure don't want her to be aggressive in her fear. So off we went at 6 a.m.---to avoid confrontations with other other dogs. Sure enough she had to be carried in (about 50 pounds of dead weight) ---but once in the exam room, she settled down pretty quickly. To make a long story short---it was not nearly as traumatic for her (or me) as I thought.
As we drove home, I shared with my husband about how I had been dreading the morning. He said, "You really set yourself up, don't you?" And after my initial desire to refute that, I have to acknowledge that really is true. I can "jump tall buildings" and really fantasize about the worst possible scenario---especially when it is clear I have no control over a particular situation. In good situations all my planning pays off---when I can control the outcome with good planning. But when it is clear I have no control, I can stay awake nights with nervousness and tension.
It may sound trite and silly, but I thanked God for things going reasonably well this morning. I know God has bigger things to be involved in , but I do believe He is with me even in the little stuff.
Now I need to work on this "setting myself up" for stress and tension in certain situations---to thank God for my ability to plan and also to ask for His peace ---even in the little stuff.
Would you find more peace if you recognize God's help---even in the little stuff?
Blessings-Penny
So I have been awake for two nights dreading what it would take to get her into the vet's office again for the spay and how she would behave. I sure don't want her to be aggressive in her fear. So off we went at 6 a.m.---to avoid confrontations with other other dogs. Sure enough she had to be carried in (about 50 pounds of dead weight) ---but once in the exam room, she settled down pretty quickly. To make a long story short---it was not nearly as traumatic for her (or me) as I thought.
As we drove home, I shared with my husband about how I had been dreading the morning. He said, "You really set yourself up, don't you?" And after my initial desire to refute that, I have to acknowledge that really is true. I can "jump tall buildings" and really fantasize about the worst possible scenario---especially when it is clear I have no control over a particular situation. In good situations all my planning pays off---when I can control the outcome with good planning. But when it is clear I have no control, I can stay awake nights with nervousness and tension.
It may sound trite and silly, but I thanked God for things going reasonably well this morning. I know God has bigger things to be involved in , but I do believe He is with me even in the little stuff.
Now I need to work on this "setting myself up" for stress and tension in certain situations---to thank God for my ability to plan and also to ask for His peace ---even in the little stuff.
Would you find more peace if you recognize God's help---even in the little stuff?
Blessings-Penny
Friday, December 11, 2015
Hope
In addition to the theme of Courage that I will present at the talk on Sunday night is the theme of Hope. One of the writers I was reading said that hope cannot come out of chaos. That writer said there needs to be peace and quiet for hope to live. However in a discussion with my husband, he had a different perspective. He said that hope is born in chaos. It is when we are at our most desperate that hope is found.
I think of the people at our grief group last Monday night. A mother with a severely autistic adult son whose behavior has become more aggressive. There seems to be no placement for him in this city. The woman with MS whose mother recently died. The mother whose 14 year old daughter died January 1 one year ago. Chaos--pain---rules their lives.
I think of the people suffering in the depths of addiction. The nights of crying "what am I going to do about this?"
How does hope get born? Is it in the depth of our pain, we open our heart and our hand to God. I look at the sculpture on my desk---a child resting in a large hand---the hand of God.
How does hope come to you? From where? Today? Do you recognize it as a gift from God? Is your hand open to receive it?
Blessings-Penny
I think of the people at our grief group last Monday night. A mother with a severely autistic adult son whose behavior has become more aggressive. There seems to be no placement for him in this city. The woman with MS whose mother recently died. The mother whose 14 year old daughter died January 1 one year ago. Chaos--pain---rules their lives.
I think of the people suffering in the depths of addiction. The nights of crying "what am I going to do about this?"
How does hope get born? Is it in the depth of our pain, we open our heart and our hand to God. I look at the sculpture on my desk---a child resting in a large hand---the hand of God.
How does hope come to you? From where? Today? Do you recognize it as a gift from God? Is your hand open to receive it?
Blessings-Penny
Thursday, December 3, 2015
courage
I have been asked to speak (briefly) at the local chapter of Compassionate Friends for their annual candle lighting ceremony. Compassionate Friends is a nationwide support group for parents whose children have died. Sadly I am a member---no longer an active member but I belong. The candle lighting ceremony is an event to remember and honor the children.
Preparing a few remarks has led me to reread the book The Return of Courage. I want to speak about courage---the courage these parents have to get up in the morning. When your reason for living---your child---has died, there can seem no reason to get up. It takes courage to put your feet on the floor knowing there were be overwhelming sadness. It takes courage to face well meaning others who want to be supportive but often say things that stab your heart. It takes courage to come to a candle lighting event that stirs memories...to face your grief head on.
One of the themes of this book is that each act of courage defines our personality. Each act of courage gives us freedom in our own destiny. As Victor Frankel said, it is not so much the events which occur in our lives but what we do with those events that shape who we are.
Who do we want to be? How do we use the events of our lives---death, divorce, addiction, financial struggles---to create our own meaning?
Can we take time to ask ourselves these questions? Can we ask God to give us the grace, the courage to rediscover for ourselves the person He wants us to be?
Dear God, let me honor my daughter by the way I live my life.
Blessings-Penny
Preparing a few remarks has led me to reread the book The Return of Courage. I want to speak about courage---the courage these parents have to get up in the morning. When your reason for living---your child---has died, there can seem no reason to get up. It takes courage to put your feet on the floor knowing there were be overwhelming sadness. It takes courage to face well meaning others who want to be supportive but often say things that stab your heart. It takes courage to come to a candle lighting event that stirs memories...to face your grief head on.
One of the themes of this book is that each act of courage defines our personality. Each act of courage gives us freedom in our own destiny. As Victor Frankel said, it is not so much the events which occur in our lives but what we do with those events that shape who we are.
Who do we want to be? How do we use the events of our lives---death, divorce, addiction, financial struggles---to create our own meaning?
Can we take time to ask ourselves these questions? Can we ask God to give us the grace, the courage to rediscover for ourselves the person He wants us to be?
Dear God, let me honor my daughter by the way I live my life.
Blessings-Penny
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