A woman's path to sustained recovery

Though the process of recovery is never easy, some women seem to move through the journey with less pain than others. Why? What makes the difference? Here we will talk about how that happens for each of us. We will talk about how women heal in mutually empowering realtionships with themselves, with others and with God.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

By Name

One of the parts of the Easter gospel that I particularly love is that Mary Magdalene did not recognize Jesus when she went to the tomb on Easter morning. She thought He was the gardner. It was not until "He called her by name" that she recognized him.

Sometimes I wonder how it would feel to have God call me by name. Wouldn't that be an incredible experience? And then again, I sometimes believe He calls me by name---when there is something beautiful in nature is He saying, "I created this. Look, Penny." When one of my sons phones and says, "Hi, Mom. Just was thinking about you -or-what was that recipe you used to make for prime rib?" Is that God saying, "I created this child, this relationship for you."

How does God call us by name in our recovery? Does He say, "This is a gift for you." Do you hear Him call you by name? Do you answer?

Blessings-Penny

Friday, April 22, 2011

darkness

Yesterday was Holy Thursday.

I attended a weekly writer's group at the local recovery center. The group is led by a woman who believes in the healing power of writing and who wishes to improve her and others' writing skills. In a brief 10 minute exercise yesterday, each participant took 10 minutes to become aware of the sense of their surroundings-the noise, the smells, the colors, the feeling of the place and to write about that experience.

As each person read their paragraph I realized how much I learned about each of them-their use of their senses, their sense of self and their story. It was a powerful way for them to learn about themselves and for the rest of the group to learn about them. One writer used the term, "Oh know!" What a clever way to phrase her "knowing." A woman new to the group wrote only a few sentences and then was inspired to continue writing---energized by the group. Another wrote of the quiet and a reminder of working on a puzzle with her grand daughter.

The day was Holy Thursday. As I walked to my car I had the sense of the many ways we push back the darkness.

During this Easter season how will you push back the darkness?
Will you "watch one hour" with someone in pain?

Blessings-Penny

Monday, April 18, 2011

second question

As a therapist and as a person interested in other people's lives, I have learned it's important to "ask the second question." By that I mean that we often ask friends, family, new acquaintances such questions as, "How are you?" or even "What's happening?" They may tell us the facts and give us a response to that question. But to really learn about that person and what's important to them, it's important to ask "the second question?" So once they have responded to that first question, you might ask the seceond question such as "What does that mean for you?" or "How does that impact you?" Then we get to hear not only "the facts" but also the meaning behind the facts. We get to hear what their heart is saying.

In the last blog, I asked you if you feel God transforming you in your recovery. The second question and even the third might be: "How do you feel that transformation?" "What difference do you feel in your life as you become aware of God's grace, God's promise, and God's gift of recovery?"

It seems to me those are really important questions to continue to ask ourselves as we are transformed by God's miracle.

Blessings-Penny

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

water to wine

There has been a Lenten discussion series at our church which I have been attending. The series is based on readings by C.S. Lewis and the group leader encourages us to focus on where the readings "intersect with our lives." Unfortunately sometimes the discussions seem to focus more on what the participants disagree with in the readings than how they intersect with our lives.

However last evening I was really touched by something the leader said. It was not even related to the readings. However the leader (a retired pastor) was lamenting that too often Sunday sermons do not speak to the heart of the listener. When the sermon doesn't speak to our heart we don't see how the epistle or gospel "intersect with our lives." He gave this example: "When we hear the gospel lesson of Christ changing the water into wine at the marriage feast at Cana, too often the sermon focuses on things such as the history of Jewish wedding feasts or the fact that it was Christ's first public miracle. What is missed is that this miracle speaks to how Christ can transform our lives. It is a miracle of transformation and the message to us is that Christ can transform our lives."

I've probably heard that gospel 100 times and I never heard that message, that promise.

In recovery the promise to us is that Christ can and will transform our lives!
Are you feeling that miracle??
Blessings-Penny

Monday, April 4, 2011

"unexpected tears"

Joe and I recently did an adult education class on substance abuse and recovery at a church in Minneapolis. Joe presented first and then I got up to give a brief synopsis of my book. When I came to the front of the room, a woman in the front row was quietly crying. During my talk I also noticed a relative of ours, a young woman who is having a difficult time in her family,was also there. Her eyes looked dead-absolutely without life or even hope.

I continued with my overview of the book and came to the chapter on grief and loss/guilt and shame. I spoke briefly of the death of my daughter but moved over that material pretty quickly. Suddenly I found tears in my eyes and found it difficult to continue with my talk. Joe spoke from the audience. "Penny, read the quote about unexpected tears." I did.

"...But of this you can be sure. Whenver you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where, if your soul is to be saved, you should go next." This is from "Listening to Your Life" p. 237, by Frederick Buechner.

I'm still trying to discern what those tears meant on that Sunday morning.
What do your tears mean? What do they mean in your relationship with God?
Listen.

Blessings-Penny