A woman's path to sustained recovery

Though the process of recovery is never easy, some women seem to move through the journey with less pain than others. Why? What makes the difference? Here we will talk about how that happens for each of us. We will talk about how women heal in mutually empowering realtionships with themselves, with others and with God.

Friday, January 27, 2012

good health

Joe and I have had a real tangle with the flu virus this week. He wound up going by ambulance to the ER after fainting and such terrible weakness that he couldn't get up. A few days later I had the same flu and fainting feeling but didn't go down.

A bout like this and feeling so badly for several days makes one extremely grateful for good health.When we have good health days-physically, emotionally and spiritually-we need to remember what a gift good health is. We need to cherish it, make a resolution to take care of it, and define ways we are going to do that.

How will you protect your good health-physically, emotionally and spiritually? Today?
Blessings-Penny

Friday, January 20, 2012

windows

A member of our extended family died recently and I have been talking with his wife frequently. She is grieving and wrestling with all the different emotions associated with her loss. At one point she said she has been telling friends, "He died with grace." I was surprised to hear her use the term grace. I was in the room with her as he drew his last breaths and it was a peaceful death. But this was a man who one might say was "larger than life." He was a successful salesman with all the accompanying bravado and exhuberance of that profession.

And then the widow said, "I wonder why I use the term grace. That's not in my usual vocabulary. It must come from something I learned in bible school a long time ago. Maybe it's something I need to pay attention to."

The words we use can give us a window into our innermost thoughts. If we pay attention to those words, they might tell us of beliefs we hold, things we've learned that we have lost, ideas we once thought important.

Any words that catch you by surprise? Even if they are not your words are there words that touch you-words like peace and gentleness and honesty and grace? Blessings-Penny

Monday, January 16, 2012

thankful

We visited a friend in the hospital yesterday who usually travels out of Vermont to warm places January-March. He really dislikes the cold and what he describes as the dark, raw days. This year he cannot travel and he is miserable.

As we left the hospital and returned home I noted the temperature was 8 degrees above 0. It had warmed up from 8 degrees below 0 at dawn! Yeah it was cold!

But then I sat at the dining roon table to do a little writing and a little daydreaming out the window. First a fox ran across the field from one woods to another. His fur was thick and his tail fluffy. He wasn't minding the cold. And then as sunset came the alpenglow was on the mountain. Alpenglow occurs on sunny winter days as the sun sets and reflects its pink color on the mountain snow. It is mystical-a wonder.

Yes, we could complain of the winter cold or we can delight in its unique gifts.

Do you complain of your circumstances or note and take pleasure in your gifts? Both are genuine human responses. One just seems more pleasureable.

Blessings-Penny

Friday, January 13, 2012

Epiphany

Last sunday I attended a church service which celebrated Epiphany-the day the Wise Men arrived at the manger and offered their gifts to the Christ Child.In reality they probably arrived after the Child was out of the manger because the Wise Men had to travel from so far.But that is beside the point.

The minister invited the children at the service to come forward for a few moments of discussion. She pointed to the manger figures and asked the children, "Who was at the manger?" The usual responses of "Mary...Joseph...the shepherds" were given and then one little girl said, "I was there." Isn't that just about the sweetest thing you have heard? "I was there." A parent or maybe a grandparent had helped this child have an image of her presence at the birth of Christ...her presence at the birthday party.

At Christmas did you have an image of yourself at Christ's birthday party? What might that have felt like? Would a sense of being there make a difference in what you do today? You are there-every day.

Blessings-Penny

Monday, January 2, 2012

Denial

We visited a friend in the hospital yesterday. He had fallen the day after Christmas and broken several vertebrae and a bone in his "neck." His blood alcohol level was
.18. His wife's was .09. He is also now being teated for alcohol withdrawal. I suggested she and I have coffee in the cafeteria.

We have socialized with this couple for several years and my husband and I have commented to ourselves about their alcohol consumption from time to time. But they are very physically active and there were no other signs that alarmed us.

However when I suggested to the wife that her husband has a problem and that she might need to look at her drinking also, she became very defensive. "Well he says he has a problem but that doesn't mean I have to quit. I'm not going to give up my 2 in the evening." When I suggested that it would be extremely difficult for him to quit or even cut back signficantly if she continued to drink in the house or in front of him, she became even more entrenched in her right to drink. "It's how I cope...I look forward to it all day...it wouldn't be fair."

At that point we moved on to another subject. I was not surprised at her reaction. It just reminded me of how powerful this addiction is. I do not know if the wife is an alcoholic but I do know when someones defends their right to drink to the detriment of someone they love, there is a problem.

It was a powerful reminder to me of where I had been in the past and where I do not want to be again. That is a miserable hole to be in.

Do you remember how bad it was? How wonderful it is to be out of that dark hole and up into the light! We never have to be there again!
Blessings-Penny

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Happy New Year

There has been much review in the local newspaper this week about out area's response to the devastation of Tropical Storm Irene. Certainly it was the biggest new's story of our region and the response of individual citizens, the local and federal government and neighboring states has been phenomenal.

There is a new saying or phrase that captures the local efforts and I think it can be applied to our own lives. The saying is VTx2...Vermont times two. The efforts to rebuild are taking twice the effort we thought. Local bridges, roads, rivers and streams need repair that is twice as strong, twice as profound. Part of that is because the infrastructure was old and collapsing before the storm and part of that is because we don't know what climate change will bring in the future. We need to work twice as hard to prevent future devastation.

Doesn't that sound like our lives-especially in recovery? We need twice the effort especially if relapse has been part of our recovery pattern.The old stuff doesn't work and we don't know what the future will bring in triggers, stress etc. etc.

On this New Year's Day think about, make a plan of how you might double your efforts of recovery. How can it be twice as strong?

Happy New Year! and Blessings-Penny