radio interview

I was interviewed on a morning radio talk show today. It was the third time and I am always so very pleased to be invited. The show is from a Catholic network entitled Relevant Radio and is primarily throughout the Midwest and down into Oklahoma and  Texas.
The interviewer asks about both my books and we focus on addiction and recovery. As usual today following the interview I thought of many comments or points I could have made that might have been more meaningful than what I said. How come that always happens? I can be so clever by myself!
Anyway one of the issues we talked about was how difficult it is for the family of the alcoholic/addict. How can the family deal with relapse-since relapse is a frequent issue in this disease of addiction. The point I wish I had more more strongly is that relapse IS part of the disease..just like relapse is part of the disease of diabetes or any chronic disease. And what our focus needs to be is on minimizing the consequences of the relapse. How can we support the addict to move back into recovery? How can we support them to move out of the relapse more quickly?
One of the ways is to help them remember how good it felt to be in recovery...how much less the fear was...how much closer they felt to family...how they didn't have to hide their behavior...how they could be honest.
Relapse is not the end of the world. It is important  that the relapses get further and further apart and that the length and amount used get smaller and smaller. That is a measure of recovery. And most importantly the addict and the family remember that God is with them---even in the relapse. Christ was with Peter when Peter was beginning to sink---both when trying to walk to Christ on the water and when the boat felt overwhelmed by the storm. Christ is with us when it feels like we are sinking. He calls us to "Come." When caught in the storm of addiction we must keep our focus on Christ. Christ is the priority.

Today-in any of your challenges is Christ your priority? Do you hear His call to "Come?"

As an aside---my husband and I enjoy doing workshops on issues of addiction, recovery and our relationship with Christ as the foundation of recovery. If your congregation would interested in such a workshop/discussion, please contact me on Facebook--Penny Hauser.

Blessings-Penny

visit

My cousin came for a visit this week. I have not seen Gary for 15 years. We spent some late teenage years and early twenties living close to each other and double dated and partied and laughed together on the west coast. We have kept in touch over the years and had occasional visits with families. But Gary is having one of those "significant" birthdays this year and rather than a big cruise or big party, he is flying around the country seeing people he cares about. Isn't that a wonderful way to celebrate? Connecting with people who have been part of your life. Gary has had some serious health issues the last years and has spent some time reflecting on what is important to him. His answer was friends and family.

I was so very honored and touched that I was on his list of visits. It is a gift to know you are important to someone.

Is there someone you could call today-someone you have thinking about-and let them know you care about them-they are important to you.
Blessings-Penny

Gifts

Karen has wonderful support in this time of letting go and dying. When we visited her we stayed with mutual friends. Jonna is Karen's friend and her hospice doctor. Jonna's husband, Marcus, is also a physician. We were all together for several meals and the conversation sometimes turned to dying-not just Karen's dying but our dying also. As we shared honestly about our concerns, our fears, our wonderment at living and dying I was awed by the discussions. They were open, honest and clarified some of the "process of dying" issues for me...issues like DNR, nutrition, advanced directives. The discussions reinforced the need to have the paperwork in order---no matter what our age. None of us know when our time will come.

Though some of the nuts and bolts clarifications were helpful, the most profound feeling I have when I reflect on the weekend is this. What a gift it would be to have health care professionals like Jonna and Marcus to walk with us at the end of our lives. To have the strength of their compassion and their judgment,an assurance they know in  their minds and hearts and spirit what our wishes are.

Can you take a few minutes today to consider the end of your life? Who do you have that you trust to be there for you? Who knows what your wishes are? It really is a gift to give your family that all "that" is in place, in writing.

Blessings-Penny

Karen is dying

Yes, Karen is dying. In early January she chose to discontinue chemotherapy for her ovarian cancer. She has been courageously fighting this disease for 10 years with multiple rounds of chemo, prayer and resilience.  The last round ravaged her body and she decided to live the rest of her days in rich quality. And that she is doing.

We visited Karen last weekend and spent several days laughing and talking about her life and about dying-her dying and the dying we all will do. Karen has lived her life to the fullest. Every period of her life was spent persuing her writing, editing for others, raising two wonderful sons, and truly doing for others. Since her retirement 13 years ago she has written 8 books, helped others write their own books (mine included) and after Tropical Storm Irene devastated Vermont, she and her husband, John, worked tirelessly to solicit and provide shoes, rugs, appliances, and clothing for those left with nothing. Hard physical and emotional work.

And Karen is dying so now she's writing a book about dying! The working title is "The Divine Art of Dying."
She is going to fill every moment of her life-to the very end- with her love and her passion.

I will be writing several more blogs about my thoughts from the weekend but for now:

How can each of us live our lives to the fullest? Each day? Today? Do we live out our loves and our passions?
Blessings-Penny

freedom

We live in an apartment on the 12th floor of a midsize city. The apartment building is on the edge of the downtown area across the street from a major league baseball stadium on one side and a residential/small business area on the other side. The view to the south is pretty open. Lately we have watched a hawk circle over the area about twice a day. His pattern is a bit above our apartment, over the stadium and then down toward the more open area. He glides so slowly, so gracefully, so peacefully. He glides with such freedom.
Yesterday he had a companion. Their flight was like a lovely ballet-together, apart, gently. They seemed to be so aware of each other, with such ease.

Freedom, ease, gentleness. Isn't that how we all would love to have the pattern of our lives?
How do we move toward that?

Blessings-Penny

Silence

"By our silence we let others define us." I think this is a really profound quote but I'm not quite certain what it means.  I think of my identity as a recovering alcoholic. Now that is only part of my identity but a part I take as very important. If I am silent and do not share that with others, then there is an important part of me that they do not know. Others would define me without knowing that I am challenged by that disease. They would not know the real me.

Do you want people to know the real you? What else are you silent about? How do others define you? What parts of you are private that others do not need to know? How do you decide?

Interesting stuff to think about.

Blessings-Penny