A woman's path to sustained recovery

Though the process of recovery is never easy, some women seem to move through the journey with less pain than others. Why? What makes the difference? Here we will talk about how that happens for each of us. We will talk about how women heal in mutually empowering realtionships with themselves, with others and with God.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

thankful

Another family gathering for Thanksgiving dinner. Good food, good conversation, college kids sparking laughter, year old baby providing entertainment, a beautiful blessing thanking God for our gifts and asking Him to give comfort for those in pain.

Later in the evening when they were alone his son quietly said to my husband, "I am thankful you have moved here." A gentle gift that no money could ever buy. No need for Black Friday.

What gift of love have you shared? This is the Season! All Season!
Blessings-Penny

Monday, November 25, 2013

question

We were at a family gathering over the weekend. Ours is an extended family spread  from coast to coast with few opportunities to get together and have close connections. One in-law was asking another about his divorce and re-marriage in a supportive, gentle manner. The conversation was going well in what seemed like an honest and open dialogue. One of the more spiritual and older family members asked, "And have you forgiven her (the former wife)?" Silence. The young man being questioned paused. His response, "I think so."

Rarely do we hear such a direct question, such a hard question. It catches us off guard. In fact we rarely ask ourselves such direct and hard questions. In this season of preparation for Christmas, it is  wonderful to consider such  hard, direct questions.

Have I forgiven someone who hurt me deeply? How do I know that? What does that look like?

Forgiveness is a process. Dear Lord, help me to move into the process---and not take it back too often!

Blessings-Penny

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Light

The days are shorter and shorter-darkness comes by 4:45 p.m. here on the eastern side of our time zone. The newspapers are filled with notices of light displays-parks, botanical gardens. Malls talk of thousands of lights to "get us ready for the holidays." Maybe to try to help us forget the days are dark.

Maybe what is happening around us reflects what is happening inside of us.  There is darkness in all of us---darkness related to our struggles and challenges---darkness related to poor decisions and their consequences---darkness related to family relationships---darkness related to our distance from God.  But we are coming to a Festival of Light---the light of Christ's birth into our world---the light of His promises. We have trouble sometimes believing those promises and the light they offer us---the promise He is always with us, no matter how dark it seems.

These evenings when the darkness comes early outside, can you remind yourself that Christ is with you in your spiritual darkness? Can you begin to live into that light?

Blessings-Penny

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Karen died

My very close friend and mentor died this week.She "lived with cancer" (her words) for 10 years.The third time it returned and she again started chemo she said, "Well I know this is what is going to get me." But it didn't get her for 10 years. And she considered that a victory.

During her last 10 years Karen wrote and had published about 7-8 books---her years of collecting notes on everything from art to writing to spirituality and on and on. She also cared deeply for people-especially friends and neighbors. When Tropical Storm Irene devastated her neighborhood she spent hours and hours and energy collecting food, clothing and money for those who had lost so much. She had unlimited creativity-she wrote, she sang, she played the piano, she sewed. She spent the last 6 months of her life writing "The Divine Art of Dying" which will be published next spring. Look at her work on amazon---Karen Speerstra.

Karen was exactly my age. We celebrated our birthdays with cake and ice cream and trips. We were hoping for the next big "decade' birthday to be a really big trip. When someone exactly your age dies, it is a time of real reflection. On the day Karen died there was meditation in a book we are reading regarding  New Year's Eve. "For us the turn of the year (or the death of a friend) should be a red light that makes us stop and look and listen, and then ask us where we are going."

Where are you going? Is it  a movement closer to God? How are you getting there? Does it feel like peace?

Blessings-Penny

Monday, November 11, 2013

a sense of play

Last evening we spent several hours with our 14 month old grandson. He is just as perfect as grandsons can be---full of energy, and laughter, and play. He loves to toddle around a corner and then screeches in delight as he returns and finds us clapping and laughing. My mother once commented that one of my sons had a real "sense of play." This is what childhood should be----as sense of discovery and play.

What happens to that sense of play for us as the years pass? We know what happens. Reality sets in. People aren't always clapping and laughing for us.  Our sense of delight moves to a sense of awareness and concern. Maybe our sense of play even moves us into areas of destructiveness. We think drinking or drugging might be fun.

For those of us with addictions a real part of long term  recovery is rediscovering a healthy sense of play. What was fun for you as a child? What got you interested and excited? Is there part of that you can find today? Who might help you find that?

Blessings---Penny

Friday, November 8, 2013

Care and compassion

We have been in the emergency room of two hospitals over the past 10 days. (My husband had a kidney stone plus bad response to a pain med.) In one hospital cubicle is a sign, "Have you shown care and compassion today?" I presume the sign is to remind staff to do just that---show care and compassion. That must be difficult in an emergency room at times.


I wonder if I need to post one of those signs in my kitchen. Have I treated my family with care and compassion today? Have you?

Blessings--Penny

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Unapologetic plug

In preparation for my monthly talk on Relevant Radio I reviewed chapters in my meditation book, "Filling the God Shaped Void." I was looking at the references for 'forgiveness' and thumbed through Chapters 46-52---the final weeks of the book. As the meditations move toward the holidays there are a number of thoughts about forgiveness as well as the real significance of Christ's birth in our daily lives.  The meditations reflect on Christmas as an invitation to return home to Christ; what might we act like if we really believed we are forgiven and redeemed; as we prepare for Christmas what acts can be seen as unending prayers; what puts out the spirit of joy in our preparations; do we miss Christmas?

I find this part of "Filling the God Shaped Void" particularly thought provoking and helpful. And I wrote it!!!---with God's help and some wonderful mentors. And I hope you will consider gifting yourself a copy to help you find peace and meaning in this beautiful season. Maybe even a copy or two for friends. amazon.com, your local book store can order, or Liguori.com

Of course I have difficulty plugging my own book. And I do believe these meditations help us focus on our recovery as a gift from God---no matter what we are recovering from.

Blessings-Penny




Friday, November 1, 2013

Forecast

For the past 15 years we have moved rather frequently. In fact 5 times in the past 15 years. A friend says our new addresses are ruining her address book. The places we have been living experience long, dark, hard winters---Illinois, Montana, Vermont, Missouri. By Nov. 1 the mountains of Montana and Vermont disappear under a low cloud cover. In Illinois and Missouri by Jan. 1 the snow gets dirty and the sun rarely appears.

We recently moved to Las Vegas. Now granted it gets hot as the dickens here in the summer. But week after week the forecast in the newspaper amuses me. How many ways can you say sunny?
Today-"Bright sunshine and beautiful" Tonight-"A starlit sky"
Saturday-"Pleasant with sunshine"
Sunday-"Sunny and breezy"
Monday-"Partly sunny, breezy and cooler"
Tuesday-"Bright and sunny"
Wednesday-"Bright and sunny but cool"  (64 degrees)
Thursday-"Sun and clouds"

We have enjoyed every place we have lived. But we do look forward to a sunny winter with swaying palm trees and bright skies.

Thank you, God, for this place and this time in our lives.
What are you thankful for?
Blessings-Penny