daily miracles

We just saw the movie "Miracles from Heaven." It's an interesting movie and thankfully leaves many of the spiritual questions unanswered. ...the ones for which there really are no answers...only faith.
At the close of the movie, the mother-played by Jennifer Garner--gives a talk at her church. She says something like this..."I don't know why my daughter was cured and yet there are thousands of children all over the world who don't get cured. What this has taught me is that I often miss the ordinary, daily miracles that occur in my life." The movie then recounts some of the "moments" ---the daily miracles---that occurred in this child's treatment and their family's life during this time...the steps in her recovery.

It made me think of the "daily miracles" that occur in our lives of recovery---the times the miracle happens that we don't make the decision to go to where a relapse could occur....that we choose the recovery people, places and things.

I don't know why my friend died of her alcoholism. The daily miracle is that I did not.

Recovery really is a daily miracle. Don't miss it. Be THANKFUL.
Blessings-Penny

powerful

This morning an email from the husband of a woman who struggled with alcoholism until her death in February. A young woman---a woman with a 15 year old daughter---a woman with a husband who didn't leave---a woman who was a teacher---a woman with so much to live for---died in her bathroom after a binge with a quart of Capt. Morgan (she used to call him her friend.) She had treatment---a month....expensive---promising. She was hopeful. But she when she returned home she wasn't willing/able to put her recovery first----there were lots of "yes, buts,,"  not willing/able to put her recovery in her relationship with God.
The disease was just too powerful. It's called an addiction for a reason. It is a fatal disease.
Such a frightening time it must have been for her when she started drinking again. Such a frightening time for her husband and daughter.
But there is hope for people who are open to breaking through the denial, people willing to make the seemingly impossible choices,people willing to hear their own "yes, buts...", people open to hearing the Holy Spirit right there with them, willing to take God's hand.

On this Good Friday let us remember God's redeeming action, His forgiveness, and His promise to be with us in all of this.

Let us give thanks for His grace in giving us another chance.

Please say a prayer for my friend and her family---that they feel God's healing love surrounding them.

Blessings-Penny

take a moment

Las Vegas, Nevada was never on my list of places I wanted to live--much less ever being on my bucket list. But as life will have it, here I am. At times I fantasize about being back in Virginia or maybe near the ocean in California. But then I take a moment and look at my reality---Las Vegas.

Life here is convenient, affordable, decent medical doctors, secure with family nearby---and a church that seems to offer opportunities I have not had before through a church. There is a sense of community in this church. People really take time and reach out to the less fortunate---the marginalized. Programs and money and especially time is offered through meals, homelessness housing, time with disadvantaged youth. The term discipleship is truly actualized.

Personally I am given the opportunity to use my background in mental health nursing through workshops and groups. I have often said I think the most important thing we can do in life is be loving parents. As I have worked with people challenged with all kinds of mental health problems, I have continued to maintain that if parents can give a solid sense of love,values, morals, ethics etc, then children can grow into productive, solid, loving adults. And now this church has asked me to write a column for the monthly newsletter on parenting! What a joy! An opportunity to actualize one of my core beliefs.

I'll use the books that helped me parent my own children and that I feel really changed how I parented--Children the Challenge  and Raising the Responsible Child. They are still in publication all these years later!--gives credit to how good they are! So I'll try to put their information into easy, readable columns---short, church newsletter type columns. Of course I'll give them all the credit ---and maybe, just maybe, a busy, overwhelmed parent may have a moment to read something that might help in their relationship with their child...to speak more gently, to give options, to ask questions, to set limits, to use logical consequences

I am convinced all parents want to be good parents. We just don't always know how or what might be some options. After all we generally parent the way we were parented --or exactly the opposite way.

So---Las Vegas...life...gives us unexpected opportunities...if we are open...if we recognize God's hand. I'm not certain God has a prepaid plan for my life--but He certainly gives me surprises.

Everyday, dear God, give me a moment to recognize your hand in my life.

Blessings-Penny

the tiger is loose

Yesterday's newspaper said 47,000 people died of drug/alcohol related deaths last year!!! Can you imagine??!! That is unbelievable.

Then on tv sports the news that a young, star quarterback gets traded because of alcohol related incidents. His short, high visibility, high expectations, multi-million dollar career is essentially over if he doesn't get his addiction in control. His father says he will be dead in a couple of years if he continues on this road.

And then in our local paper, an article discussing the wife of a state supreme court judge---arrested for drunk driving and attacking the man with whom she had a traffic accident. All I can think of is "there but for the grace of God..."

And I mean that...God's grace moved me into recovery. It's not "perfect" recovery but as David Foster Wallace writes, "Those parts of me are still there but I don't let them drive anymore."

This is a complicated, fatal disease. It kills, it ruins careers, it devastates lives. If we have the disease, it challenges us our whole lives. But we "don't have to let it drive anymore." We have choices.

We call upon God to be with us in it...to be with us to make the right choices. We are not alone. Pray.

Blessings-Penny

anger and forgiveness

In the workshop last week I was again struck by the anger held by many women. For a long time I have felt the anger we hold is a major issue for many of us. It can be anger at long past circumstances and/or anger over current issues. It can be anger over something personal or anger over someone belittling a value of ours---current politics comes to mind!

But what really strikes me is the power we give away when we hold on to the anger. It spills over into our peace. It spills into our relationship with ourselves, with others and with God. We feel powerless in the face of long held anger.

In the workshop we reviewed Desmond Tutu's process of healing from anger---always worth reviewing. We need to identify the anger---name it. We don't excuse the other person's behavior but we let go of the need for revenge. We work on understanding where the other person's behavior comes from. We give up our role of victim. When we give up our role of victim we get to "write the end of the story." I love that idea---we take back choices in how we think about the other person, in how we behave toward ourselves, toward others and within our relationship with God

Tutu has written many books on forgiveness. The one I particularly like is No Future without Forgiveness. I like the title---No Future without Forgiveness. It really seems that way. People stuck in their anger, unwilling to forgive are trapped. They go over and over and over the issue and never move into their future.

Can we begin to open our clinched fists and receive God's loving support as we pray about our issues of anger? It is God who is with us and gives us the courage to let it all be. We don't have to "let it go"---we just have to "let it be" in God's hands.

Blessings-Penny

well, this is new

I was/am in a "dip." I'm reluctant to call it a depression---sounds so clinical. Anyway "depression" has to last for a period of time for it to be diagnosed as such; so I'll just call this a "dip." And I do feel better this morning --but why the dip?

Is it a let down from the workshop on Saturday? Is it worry about my son and his job situation? Is it an "existential" crisis about "what now?" in my life---sort of a delayed reaction to that last big birthday? A fall out from a recent criticism from someone I care about?

Probably a collection of all those things. But I know I don't like it! If this is what depression feels like, then I have a better sensitivity to people who are challenged by depression as an illness. No energy, no interest in being involved, no interest in talking.

So why do I feel a bit better this morning? Well last night at a meeting a woman who did not come to the workshop apologized for missing it. She also said that women at another meeting told her how "wonderful" it was and how much they got from the day. So that felt really good---no judgment, no stigma. Last night as Joe and I went to sleep we talked about the "dip" and the reasons. He just let me talk and offered reassurance, support and love. No attempt to solve it---he just listened. And now I am sharing it with you---writing, my version of journaling.

All the things I encourage others to do! Speak those words of encouragement to others! Listen! Write!
And most of all pray!!! Talk with God about your sadness, your fears, your anger. He listens! He wants us to come to Him. He wants us to be in relationship with Him. Have a meditation book you love nearby. Pick it up. Read. He will speak to you. He will speak of peace.

Blessings-Penny