A woman's path to sustained recovery

Though the process of recovery is never easy, some women seem to move through the journey with less pain than others. Why? What makes the difference? Here we will talk about how that happens for each of us. We will talk about how women heal in mutually empowering realtionships with themselves, with others and with God.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

book

I have not been posting as much as I would like to. My new book, "Filling the God-shaped Void-a book of daily meditations" was due yesterday. I hope to really have it complete by March 1 but it is consuming most of my writing time.

But I have been thinking of this writing and musing over a couple of things. One is a couple of newspaper articles on child rearing.Since I feel being a good parent is absolutely one of the priorities in life, I'm always interested in the latest trends. One article reviewed a book written by a woman who had lived in France. She was struck by the better behavior of French children than her American children. After talking and observing many French families, she determined that the better behavior of French children was due to the firmer limits that French children have. Parents speak in firmer tones when setting limits. French children have only one snack per day-at 4 pm. The American writer mused, "Are we afraid to make our children unhappy?"It all made sense to me. When I raised my children we certainly had firm schedules and things like good behavior in restaurants or a church was an understood requirement. However I also have been supportive of the newer generations more "at ease" approach to parenting-children included in more gatherings, schedules more flexible.

It is all so very important and I wonder how we find the right balance? It is certainly worth ongoing conversation.
Blessings-Penny

Blessings-Penny

Sunday, February 5, 2012

relapse and recovery

A recent article by a physician involved with the recovery of doctors who abuse drugs and alcohol had an interesting idea. This doctor who was in charge of this physicians' recovery program said that their success and minimal relapse rates indicated that relapse is not necessarily a part of the disease of addiction. He maintained that the physicinas enrolled in their program relapsed at a far lesser rate than the average recovering program. Monitoring, drug urines and support were essential parts of their program.

The reduced relapse rate for those physicians is certainly admirable. However I wonder how applicable that is for the average recovering person. After all look at the incentive for recovery for the physician. If he does not relapse, if he moves into sustained recovery, he returns to a lucrative job, probably a family ready to stand by him (after all they have alot to lose if they don't)and a supportive network.

What does the average person in recovery have? Often the average person has lost a job, has no housing, no transportation, no skills and a probation system that is looking for him or her to screw up.

It seems to me for the average person to sustain recovery it would take the same things physicians have- a job, a home,a supportive network. As the very least, the average person working towards recovery needs to feel their lives are important enoughto save. They need to have enough self esteem to know they are worth saving. They need to know they can change and things in their environment can change. They need to have a spiritual connection that promises them they are loved.

How are we ever going to get there?

Blessings-Penny

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Being pleased

Chistopher Hitchens wrote an article, his final one, in Vanity Fair recently that has great advice for all of us. He was talking about Charles Dickens and Dickens' respect for childhood. The part that spoke to me was Hitchens' suggestion, through his analysis of Dickens, that we all "hang onto our childhood." His perspective was that if we do that we are more apt to be generous in spirit,to have a "freshness and gentleness and a capacity to be pleased."

Isn't that a beautiful phrase-"a capacity to be pleased?" Do you still get pleased at things or is your more general attitude one of criticism and judgment? Criticism and judgment are easy patterns to slide into. After all there is alot to be critical of in today's culture. But Dickens delighted in birthday parties, being lavish about them and celebrating that we were "unborn and now we are launched."

Do you still "have a capacity to be pleased? Do you still delight in lavish birthdays? Wouldn't it be wonderful if friends described you as "gentle and fresh?"

Blessings-Penny