The days have been warm for several weeks and the fruit trees have slowly blossomed. Pinks and whites all along the streets and yards. It's February 28 and the trees are in bloom!
Amazing, amazing. I am looking out my window at the second rainbow in 2 days. We don't have much rain here in the high desert and when it comes the clouds seem to break easily. The sun creates these beautiful signs of hope.
Signs of hope are good right now. Too many signs of evil and distress all around--Sudan, Syria, Afghanistan, Iraq---friends in trouble...relapses.
Blossoms and rainbows. Something new. Hope.
What are the signs of hope around you today? Can you create some hope for someone else?
Blessings-Penny
Friday, February 28, 2014
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
courage
On Relevant Radio yesterday morning we talked about the heroin epidemic in the U.S. As we have thought about in this blog before, we talked about the insidiousness of it...that for so many people it starts with a prescription for narcotic pain medication which is legitimate. Unfortunately huge prescriptions are handed out much too casually by the medical profession. The person becomes addicted to the pain medication and then can't get the prescription refilled... and it is too expensive to purchase on the street. Heroin is much cheaper!
That is often the sad story of any addiction. No one starts out to be an addict. We all think we can handle it. And then the stigma of being an addict is so frightening that we cannot ask for help. The stigma of our children or our loved ones being an addict is overwhelming. We know something is wrong but we stay a prisoner to the addiction.
That is true also for alcoholism. I have seen 4 women recently drinking alcoholically - clearly in deep trouble. I cringe for them. I cry for them. I pray for them. I remember the fear and desperation in the middle of the night of "What am I going to do about this??!!"
I pray they have the courage to reach out...to talk with someone...someone they trust...someone with whom they can be honest.
Sunday's psalm said, ..."...He forgives all your sins and heals you from your diseases
He redeems your life from the pit...
so that your youth is renewed like the eagles."
That is recovery! The freedom to be youthful once again.
Do you believe His promise? He is there. Have the courage. Take the step. Reach out.
Blessings-Penny
Saturday, February 22, 2014
delight
The mailman brought such a wonderful gift for me yesterday.. It is a letter from my grandson who is a Marine Corps recruit going through basic training in California. The training is very very tough and though he is in wonderful physical shape we are all concerned about the stress and exhaustion that is part of it. His letter indicated the training is tougher than he expected but it sounds like he is making it.
The content of the letter was warm and loving. The main gift is simply the letter. His personal time is very limited but he took the time to answer my letter. Though I am so pleased YOU take the time to read this blog, there really is nothing like an old fashioned letter...his handwriting..his return address. It beats Facebook any day!---no matter your age!
Is there someone you might take the time to write a note to today? Would they be so very pleased to see your handwriting?
Blessings-Penny
The content of the letter was warm and loving. The main gift is simply the letter. His personal time is very limited but he took the time to answer my letter. Though I am so pleased YOU take the time to read this blog, there really is nothing like an old fashioned letter...his handwriting..his return address. It beats Facebook any day!---no matter your age!
Is there someone you might take the time to write a note to today? Would they be so very pleased to see your handwriting?
Blessings-Penny
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
focusing on the negative
Bad habits are so difficult to break.
As you probably know it is easy to write a review of a book on amazon. Often the reviews are written by friends of the author and are glowing -mine included, if I must be honest! However sometimes they are written by a reader who simply has read the book and has an opinion. I have received lots of feedback about both of my books and almost all of it has been very positive. Some of the feedback has been in person and some of it on the amazon reviews. However recently there was a new review on amazon by someone I do not know of "Filling the God-Shaped Void" that was not glowing----and,of course, that is the one that keeps playing in my head. The criticism was that the book is written "by and for addicts...and she (me) sees everything from that one perspective...Don't bother if you're not an addict."
In one way I guess I shouldn't see it as terribly negative since there certainly is a strong thread of recovery in the meditations... just as there is a strong thread of recovery in these blogs. But it stings to have someone say I see things only from this one perspective. The meditations were written with the hope that readers could adapt the thoughts to any challenge they are working on.
And the even larger issue for me is why does this "criticism" keep running through my head? Why can't I let it go and focus on the positive feedback I have received? Focusing on the negative seems to be a very human and very annoying habit. I let those thoughts have free rental space in my head....and they make me irritable.
That habit of focusing on the negative can certainly occur in recovery if there is a relapse. We tend to focus on all the negative issues associated with the relapse and ignore the positive steps we have made---we ignore the progress---we want the perfection.
So I will work on being aware of the negative thoughts and evict them as non paying tenants. Are there some negative thoughts you need to evict? Can we ask God for the peace that comes with acknowledging our mistakes (and the negative opinion of others) and moving into the progress?
Blessings-Penny
As you probably know it is easy to write a review of a book on amazon. Often the reviews are written by friends of the author and are glowing -mine included, if I must be honest! However sometimes they are written by a reader who simply has read the book and has an opinion. I have received lots of feedback about both of my books and almost all of it has been very positive. Some of the feedback has been in person and some of it on the amazon reviews. However recently there was a new review on amazon by someone I do not know of "Filling the God-Shaped Void" that was not glowing----and,of course, that is the one that keeps playing in my head. The criticism was that the book is written "by and for addicts...and she (me) sees everything from that one perspective...Don't bother if you're not an addict."
In one way I guess I shouldn't see it as terribly negative since there certainly is a strong thread of recovery in the meditations... just as there is a strong thread of recovery in these blogs. But it stings to have someone say I see things only from this one perspective. The meditations were written with the hope that readers could adapt the thoughts to any challenge they are working on.
And the even larger issue for me is why does this "criticism" keep running through my head? Why can't I let it go and focus on the positive feedback I have received? Focusing on the negative seems to be a very human and very annoying habit. I let those thoughts have free rental space in my head....and they make me irritable.
That habit of focusing on the negative can certainly occur in recovery if there is a relapse. We tend to focus on all the negative issues associated with the relapse and ignore the positive steps we have made---we ignore the progress---we want the perfection.
So I will work on being aware of the negative thoughts and evict them as non paying tenants. Are there some negative thoughts you need to evict? Can we ask God for the peace that comes with acknowledging our mistakes (and the negative opinion of others) and moving into the progress?
Blessings-Penny
Friday, February 14, 2014
Happy Valentine's Day
Though I tend to rail against the commercialism to all holidays including Valentine's Day, it is lovely to be remembered and surprised with a special little something. I remember a boyfriend---many many many years ago--- bringing me both flowers and chocolate and saying he couldn't decide which I'd like better. I remember a niece coming for lunch and bringing me a lovely bouquet of yellow tulips---my favorite. Of course there have been flowers and cards as the years have passed, but it is the surprise that makes it delightful.
"Love one another."
Can you give someone a little surprise today? What might that be? Just a phone call to tell them you love them?
Blessings-Penny
"Love one another."
Can you give someone a little surprise today? What might that be? Just a phone call to tell them you love them?
Blessings-Penny
Monday, February 10, 2014
worth repeating
In a recent "Vogue" magazine was an article with a spiritual thread that caught me. First, who would expect "Vogue" to have anything spiritual? In fact, I recently told my husband to not renew the subscription when it came due--it's just too glitzy for me.
But I am still receiving it and the article that caught my attention was by a woman who 2 years ago lost both her parents and her 3 young daughters in an accidental house fire on Christmas Eve. I remember the news stories about the fire and the tragic deaths, and I remember wondering how this woman would ever move ahead in her life. The story spoke of her despair, depression and hospitalization following the accident. It also told of her helping at a girls' orphanage the following Christmas and gaining some peace from those children's happiness. But the piece of the story that really touched me was her quote of the minister who conducted the funeral service for her daughters. The quote was this. "God is not a puppeteer. God was the first to cry."
This quote is very similar to one that moved me into a new peace years following the death of my daughter. A spiritual friend paraphrased the theologian Sloan Coffin following the death of his son. The friend said, "When Merry Pat died (my daughter), of all the hearts that broke that day, God's heart was the first to break."
Those words moved my daughter's death into my relationship with God. Those words helped ease the "why?"
Is there a loss, a challenge that you makes you cry out "why?" Can you move it into your relationship with God? Do you know He cries with you?
Blessings-Penny
But I am still receiving it and the article that caught my attention was by a woman who 2 years ago lost both her parents and her 3 young daughters in an accidental house fire on Christmas Eve. I remember the news stories about the fire and the tragic deaths, and I remember wondering how this woman would ever move ahead in her life. The story spoke of her despair, depression and hospitalization following the accident. It also told of her helping at a girls' orphanage the following Christmas and gaining some peace from those children's happiness. But the piece of the story that really touched me was her quote of the minister who conducted the funeral service for her daughters. The quote was this. "God is not a puppeteer. God was the first to cry."
This quote is very similar to one that moved me into a new peace years following the death of my daughter. A spiritual friend paraphrased the theologian Sloan Coffin following the death of his son. The friend said, "When Merry Pat died (my daughter), of all the hearts that broke that day, God's heart was the first to break."
Those words moved my daughter's death into my relationship with God. Those words helped ease the "why?"
Is there a loss, a challenge that you makes you cry out "why?" Can you move it into your relationship with God? Do you know He cries with you?
Blessings-Penny
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Relapse
The overdose death of actor Phillip Seymour Hoffman last weekend has been a news highlight for days. Sadly, sadly, sadly his death apparently is a heroin relapse in an addiction he struggled with for years. One news account indicated he had been in recovery for several years but recently had completed another rehab.
Another smaller news story is of a woman who killed a man in a traffic accident. She hit him and carried him on her windshield for several blocks. She had been through addiction and was working as a substance abuse counselor! Her blood alcohol content was twice the legal limit.
It all sounds so familiar. Relapse is such a part of this disease of addiction. Recovery takes such major behavioral change and major spiritual change. It takes such commitment. "If nothing changes, nothing changes." True---but she made such change. She became a counselor. At some level, I am certain she thought she was doing what was necessary. I am certain she thought she could handle it. Cunning, baffling and oh so powerful. That is so often the power of the denial. We think we can handle it.
I certainly have no fail proof answer. If I did I would make a million bucks. I do know the people who move into long term, pleasant, relaxed, joyful recovery are the ones who reach out to others in recovery and stay connected with those folks; who stay connected with their treatment center for at least one year--phone calls, aftercare; people who no longer go to the bars and places where they used; who give up "friends" who use; who become grateful for their new lives; who begin to talk with God; who pray many times a day.
Relapse happens to most people in recovery. That's the nature of the disease. It's the reality. We need to acknowledge that and move away from the stigma of a relapse. We need to work with people in recovery to recognize the symptoms and do something different...early. The people who move back into recovery quickly are the people who make it. God sends clues! If you go to the ATM and take out $1200 a day, that's a clue! And then you pray like you've never done before to do something different. You have a choice to stay in the relapse or move back into recovery. Call a friend. Go to a meeting. Talk with someone. Talking breaks the power of the voices in your head. Get through the next 15 minutes, the next hour. If at this moment you can't convince yourself you are worth it, think of your family, your children, your spouse. They are worth it. Life has been better since you moved into recovery...not perfect but better. Recognize the new life as a gift that you really don't want to send back. Live into the promise that God is with you.
LIVE! That is the choice God gives you.
Blessings-Penny
Another smaller news story is of a woman who killed a man in a traffic accident. She hit him and carried him on her windshield for several blocks. She had been through addiction and was working as a substance abuse counselor! Her blood alcohol content was twice the legal limit.
It all sounds so familiar. Relapse is such a part of this disease of addiction. Recovery takes such major behavioral change and major spiritual change. It takes such commitment. "If nothing changes, nothing changes." True---but she made such change. She became a counselor. At some level, I am certain she thought she was doing what was necessary. I am certain she thought she could handle it. Cunning, baffling and oh so powerful. That is so often the power of the denial. We think we can handle it.
I certainly have no fail proof answer. If I did I would make a million bucks. I do know the people who move into long term, pleasant, relaxed, joyful recovery are the ones who reach out to others in recovery and stay connected with those folks; who stay connected with their treatment center for at least one year--phone calls, aftercare; people who no longer go to the bars and places where they used; who give up "friends" who use; who become grateful for their new lives; who begin to talk with God; who pray many times a day.
Relapse happens to most people in recovery. That's the nature of the disease. It's the reality. We need to acknowledge that and move away from the stigma of a relapse. We need to work with people in recovery to recognize the symptoms and do something different...early. The people who move back into recovery quickly are the people who make it. God sends clues! If you go to the ATM and take out $1200 a day, that's a clue! And then you pray like you've never done before to do something different. You have a choice to stay in the relapse or move back into recovery. Call a friend. Go to a meeting. Talk with someone. Talking breaks the power of the voices in your head. Get through the next 15 minutes, the next hour. If at this moment you can't convince yourself you are worth it, think of your family, your children, your spouse. They are worth it. Life has been better since you moved into recovery...not perfect but better. Recognize the new life as a gift that you really don't want to send back. Live into the promise that God is with you.
LIVE! That is the choice God gives you.
Blessings-Penny
Sunday, February 2, 2014
planning and preparation
We just finished watching the Super Bowl football game.The telecast took 3 1/2 hours. The preparation for the players and the stadium and the commercials and the vendors etc. etc. took hours and hours and weeks and weeks.
Someone sent me a statistic last week about the game that blows my mind. With all of that preparation, there really are only 11 minutes of real playing time during the game! Isn't that unbelievable? Three and a half hours on tv, thousands of hours of preparation---11 minutes of real play.
I'm not really certain what connection to make of this to my life but it seems something must be there. How many hours do I spend preparing (thinking in my mind---fretting really) about things that take up very little real time? Is there something more there?
What do you think?
Blessings-Penny
Someone sent me a statistic last week about the game that blows my mind. With all of that preparation, there really are only 11 minutes of real playing time during the game! Isn't that unbelievable? Three and a half hours on tv, thousands of hours of preparation---11 minutes of real play.
I'm not really certain what connection to make of this to my life but it seems something must be there. How many hours do I spend preparing (thinking in my mind---fretting really) about things that take up very little real time? Is there something more there?
What do you think?
Blessings-Penny
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