learn

 "You can learn while you are crying." This was another comment by a recent graduation speaker that struck me as pertinent to this process of  recovery. This comment reminded me of the challenge of relapse. When we relapse into whatever our addiction or challenge is, we often feel overwhelmed by guilt and shame. In that guilt and shame we feel sad and often at the same time we feel angry at ourselves ---and maybe even at others who we tend to blame for our relapse. That is all part of the disease-denial, anger, guilt, shame. But when we stay stuck in those feelings, we don't learn. We don't learn how we got into this mess this time. We don't learn what our responsibility is. We don't learn what to do differently. In our sadness, we may cry and feel hopeless and helpless. "How can I start again? What is wrong with me?"

I worked with many persons who were "chronic relapsers." Often they blamed their spouse, their children, their boss, their stress for those chronic relapses and yet felt helpless to do anything differently. Too busy to get to meetings, too busy to exercise, too busy to get to aftercare, too busy to examine their behavior.. too busy, too busy. They cried but they didn't learn. "If I do what I've always done, I'll get what I always got."

Too busy to pray. Too busy to turn to God and ask for help.
Today can you turn to God and feel Him say, "Come?" Can you learn that God is the resource that is always there? Every single time He is there holding out His hands to you.

Blessings-Penny