In both of my books, Broken by Addiction, Blessed by God and Filling the God-shaped Void,I talk about the fact that all of us have voices in our heads. The voices often are messages we received from important people in our past--people who meant some thing to us. Those voices can give messages that affirm us but often they can be voices and messages that are destructive...messages that destroy our self confidence, even destroy our beliefs. Often the voices are from ourself...voices and memories and things we wish we had said...things we wish we hadn't said. Moving into recovery it is helpful to identify those voices and those messages. Which ones trigger guilt or shame? Which ones move me to try new spiritual ways of being? Which ones should I allow to stay? Which ones should I minimize and disregard?
Recently I read a paragraph quote from an author named Saul Bellow. In honesty though I know his name, I have not read his books. But this paragraph so beautifully describes those voices, I want to share it with you.
"All the while you thought you were going around idle, terribly hard work was taking place. Hard, hard work, excavation and digging, pushing, moving rock, working, working, working, working, working, panting, hauling, hoisting.And none of this work is seen from outside. It's internally done. It happens because you are powerless and unable to get anywhere, to gain justice or have requital, and therefore in yourself you labor, you wage combat, settle scores, remember insults, fight, reply, deny, blab, denounce, triumph, outwit, overcome, vindicate, cry, persist, absolve, die and rise again. All by yourself! Where is everybody? Inside your breast and skin, the entire cast."
How do we sort through this? We are not powerless. We go to a quiet place. We listen for peace. We pray for God to be with us as we quiet our souls. We listen for His Presence.
Peace.
Penny
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