Anxiety

In a recent issue of Vogue magazine, the writer Nora Ephron wrote an article that talked about the anxiety created by having a mother who had the disease of alcoholism. She wrote of the fear of her mother visiting her in college--the fear that her friends would find out that her mother was alcoholic---the fear that the secret would get out.

So many of us grew up in homes where a parent had the disease of alcoholism and addiction. One consequence of growing up in a home with addiction is an ongoing sense of anxiety. The anxiety that the secret of addiction/alcoholism creates stays with us for the rest of our lives. That anxiety creates a feeling that we need to control everything in our lives and the lives of those around us. For our own recovery and personal growth, it is essential we become aware of where we hold the anxiety---how the anxiety plays out in our daily lives, our relationships with those we love, and our relationship with God.

Where do you hold the anxiety and fear? In your shoulders, in your fists, in the tightness around your mouth, in your clenched jaw? Do you want a drink or drug to relieve the tension? Can you tighten up that part of your body when you become aware of the stress and then relax? Can you smile that you are becoming increasingly aware of where you hold the tension?

Where does the anxiety, the need to control, interfere with your relationships with those you love? Do you yell? Do you tell them how to live their lives? Or do you let them exoerience the logical consequences of their own decisions? Tough to do.

Where does the fear enter your relationship with God? Do you listen? Are you open? Do you read nurturing meditations? Can you trust? Do you reach for His hand? He promises to be with us. He promises!!!

Blessings-Penny