hope

This morning I did an interview again on Relevant Radio-a midwest Catholic radio station. The interviewer asked the question about what family members can do when the addict and the rest of the family are in denial. I encouraged them to attend AlANON, to keep up pointing out the reality to the addict  of what the addict is doing. Be explicit about the behaviors, the impact on themselves, their lives, their families. This is informal intervention. This needs to be done in a non-blaming, non-accusatory manner-with "I" statements--"I'm frightened when this happens." "I love you and I am terrified of what may happen."

What I wish I had emphasized more is that there is hope. The family member needs to know that breaking through the denial of the disease often takes a very long time. Addiction is a progressive disease and without intervention, it will get worse. It is the family member's ability to respond (responsibility) to continue the confrontation. One never knows when the addict will finally hear the loving message. Even if there is relapse, the message needs to be the same. "I know it is discouraging but think of the days/weeks/months you were clean-how free that felt."

For their own sanity, the family member must remember they are not alone. Call a treatment center and learn about interventions. Formal interventions include consequences to the addict for continuing to use.Go to ALANON (find local meetings on the internet). Go to a priest or counselor and learn ways to take care of yourself. Read my books-"Broken by Addiction, Blessed by God" and "Filling the God-Shaped Void." Until you acknowledge you, the loving family member or friend, have choices and power to make healthy decisions, you are caught in this disease too.

And prayer-prayer-prayer. Kathleen Norris says "Prayer is asking to be changed in ways you can't even imagine." What might that mean for you---for your life???  You cannot change the addict but you can change circumstances in your life-the way you handle your feelings and responses. Remember God promises He is with you.

What will you change today? Will you stop and ask God to be with you in this? ---to help you feel His Presence?
Blessings-Penny