tone of voice

At a picnic the other night, a young father of one of the 4 year old boys present, said, "He asks his mommy, 'Why is daddy always mad at me?" I thought that was a very sad comment on the relationship between the child and his father. The father continued, "Well if he would just listen to me...". How sad that this little boy sees his father as always critical.

I was reminded of the discussion in "Filling the God-shaped Void" that focuses on the tone of voice we use. In that discussion we comment that often the tone of voice we use is as important as the words. Words can and do hurt. Tone of voice is a strong indicator of our pleasure or displeasure, no matter what the words say.

From a positive perspective my husband and I were discussing this and he spoke of some powerful words and tones he can remember from way in his past. These were words and tone that shaped how he felt about himself in a positive way...words and tone that were rare in his childhood and adolesence. He had a high school basketball coach who he heard say from the sideline, "Make it , Son." "Son" rang deeply in his heart. Years later the same coach was coaching an alumni game and at the closing time out, when their team was behind by a basket,  the coach said, "Give Joe the ball." Joe got the ball and made the shot...but what was important was the confidence the coach had in him. Coach probably would never have remembered saying those words, but the words and tone, told Joe someone he loved and respected believed in him. Joe also reflected his father writing a note,""Show 'em how to play the game. You are tops." The note still hangs by his desk in a frame. Another note from his son, "I love you no matter what" hangs there too. Powerful, powerful stuff.

These words, these notes are so easy and so powerful. They are also reminders of words and notes from God that tell us of His love and encouragement.

Today write down the positive words and tone and notes you have received, maybe from long ago, that encouraged you and are reminders of God's unconditional love.  And remember to use those encouraging, loving words with those around you.

Blessings-Penny