confidence

We attended another college graduation last week. The young woman graduate had just completed her undergraduate degree in microbiology at a very prestigious Midwest university in 3 years. I asked her how she had managed it---how did she have the confidence to undertake the course work and the challenges. She is not a boastful person but said there were a couple of things. One was that she thought there was no way she could afford a fourth year. The college loan debt would have been overwhelming so she felt she had to double up on courses taken each semester. Plus she said, "I know I am smart and I figured I could do it." She does have a very high IQ! When I asked about stress levels, she said she never felt too much stress. She planned her work and studied but never felt she couldn't do it.

When I asked where she thought she acquired that confidence, she said she thought it came over the years. She thought past successes in high school, teachers who mentored her and told her she could accomplish this or that, and the ongoing support of her parents were the foundation of her confidence.

There is nothing new or startling about those insights. We all have read those ideas from many sources. But what about those of us without a "very high IQ" and those of us who do not feel we are particularly bright, or haven't had mentors or parents who support our achievements? How do we achieve success or even just keep going through the stresses and challenges of everyday?

I think we set short term goals. This young woman is unsure of what her next step will be. She doesn't have a major life plan. She bites off her life in manageable, measurable goals. "I'll get through college and then I'll figure out what's next...I'll keep this loan manageable so I don't get overwhelmed and have to take the wrong job."

For those of us in recovery, there is a valuable lesson here. We don't have to envision our recovery as life long. We only have to get through the next day or week or month. Then we can go on from there. That "recovery" can be from any of the challenges we face---addiction, of course, but also from episodes of anger, from running up credit card debt, from eating problems, from promiscuity, from porn, from anything that causes us stress---from anything that keeps us from our relationship with God.

We remember to turn to God for His grace. He is our mentor, our parent. He assures us of His unconditional love and grace. He is there for us--if only we remember. He doesn't care if we don't have a "very high IQ."

What measurable goal can you set today to reduce your stress from the challenges you face? Can you remember that God is right there giving you His love and grace.

Blessings-Penny