compulsion

I've been told it is more difficult to be in recovery from an eating disorder than substance abuse. What I  know is that the compulsive nature of the diseases seems similar. Also the lying and the hiding and the shame and the guilt seem similar. A young friend in treatment for her eating problems hides the food she is supposed to eat. Her family dynamics remain is disarray. It's a mess and it will be a challenge for the rest of her life.

My addiction is also a challenge and will be for the rest of my life. But the good news is I can make choices about it. Early in my recovery I read, "If there is something in your life you don't like, you can change it." What a thought!  It's not easy to make the choices to change. I don't do recovery "perfectly" by some people's standards. But the choices I make eliminate the lying, the hiding, the shame and the guilt.

I place my recovery in my relationship with God. If I would move back into the addiction, into its compulsion,  I would move away from my relationship with God. The peace that I gain from the choices He helps me make is worth more than any fancy drink or high I might get. No more compulsion. No more lying, hiding, shame, or guilt. No more family disarray.

But I am challenged at times. I pray. I make recovery a part of my daily prayer life. I ask God to be with me.

If you are challenged today, pray. Know that small steps, small choices are all part of your recovery. Know God is with you. Know He is there in the darkness.

Blessings-Penny