A woman's path to sustained recovery

Though the process of recovery is never easy, some women seem to move through the journey with less pain than others. Why? What makes the difference? Here we will talk about how that happens for each of us. We will talk about how women heal in mutually empowering realtionships with themselves, with others and with God.

Friday, September 12, 2014

more on those "expectations"

I've been giving more thought on "managing our expectations." As I said last time, I think managing our expectations decreases our stress and is a good thing. However I also think managing our expectations of others can sometimes lead to alot of stuffed disappointment and anger.

I expected a phone call from my son before he headed out on a 2 week hike in the Sierra Nevada mountains. I wanted to hear his plans and excitement. I wanted to get the web site to monitor his GPS. I wanted to tell him to be safe. When I contacted his wife on the day before I thought he was to leave, he had already left. I was disappointed but in my head gave alot of excuses--"he was busy packing...he had alot on his mind." My husband said, "Don't you get tired of giving excuses for other people?"

Whoa! Yes, I do. Along with "managing my expectations" I need to acknowledge my hurt and disappointment. Otherwise it just sits in there as an irritant. Years ago in a counseling class, I learned the concept of not stuffing our emotional garbage in a bag that we save up and then tend to dump at inappropriate times. I'm not one to dump very often but I do let it seep out. Just as destructive. Not a good thing!

I also need to remember that I pray God forgives the times I disappointment him. I hope He "manages His expectations" of me. I pray He isn't stuffing my garbage in a bag waiting to dump it on me.

How about you?

Blessings-Penny


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