Recently I had a conversation with a woman going through what she considers to be a devastating break up of her family. One member of the family is choosing to move and not leave a forwarding address. The woman I was speaking with considers this a selfish, spoiled act that will leave her and other family members alone and distraught. I have to wonder what is "the rest of the story."
But since I don't know "the rest of the story" I attempted to give support for her sadness and anger. When any of us feel betrayed in a relationship we often get sad which then becomes anger.And we shut down. We close up. We take a position and we do not budge.We simply cannot look at the other person's needs.
Also when someone we love has been betrayed we often close down. We feel betrayed. We take their side and up the ante on the anger. In an effort to support, we feed into their closed position.
In betrayal we find it next to impossible to forgive---or move anywhere close to forgiveness. And yet Christ tells us we must forgive 70 times 7. Really? Forgive someone who has betrayed me or someone I love. Yep. That's what we are to do. We are to "go to them and reconcile."
If I can't do that--yet-- can I begin to pray to be more open? In a sermon on forgiveness I recently heard a priest talk about forgiveness in those terms.."maybe not yet, maybe not now but begin to pray to be open to the thought of forgiveness." Since I can't change him or change what is happening, what attitude am I to take? What will bring some peace to my heart?
Where in my life am I closed? When have I been unable to forgive? Where can I pray to change my attitude?
Blessings-Penny
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