One night recently I took my dog for her last outing before bedtime. I walked through the apartment building's lower garage level and was stopped by a woman who said, "I got your note. Thank you." As the conversation continued I realized she was the woman whose baby died of SIDS last month. She lives on our floor but I had never really met her. When the baby died I slipped a note of condolence under her door.
We talked for several minutes and I was moved by her own grief, confusion and grief for the tears of her 9 year old daughter. I strongly suggested she get counseling for all of them. I told her that not pushing for my family to get counseling after the death of my daughter was the biggest mistake I made in our grieving. Finding a safe place to express feelings of sadness and guilt, which are all part of normal grieving, is one of the most healing things one can do in any crisis or trauma...whether that be death, divorce, any loss.
Those thoughts have remained with me for days. Probably because it is all still part of my grieving---all these years later. The grief is still a part of me. I move on in my life but my daughter is never far from my thoughts and love.
God helps me heal and lets me hold onto the love and memories.
Blessings-Penny
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