Some thoughts on the difficulty of forgiveness---
1. If I forgive will the perpetrator think he or she can harm me again?
2. If I forgive will I appear weak? Or might I feel strong?
3. If I forgive will I have to give up my anger? I recently had a friend who said, "If given a choice between forgiveness and holding on to my anger and and resentment, I'll hold onto my anger every time!" She was only half kidding! She likes her anger. She feels it gives her power, when in reality the anger takes away other choices. It keeps her stuck. What other choices might she have?
4. If I forgive I'll have to give up my victim role. What other role might I want to take on?
Forgiveness is part of recovery.
Often we hear, "You have to forgive yourself." But a writer I love, Frederick Buechner says, "Trying to forgive yourself is like trying to sit in your own lap." What moves us into accepting forgiveness of ourselves and others is being open to God's forgiveness. When we begin to be open to God's forgiveness of us, we move forgiveness into this new relationship with God. We begin to accept this new life that God has created for us.
What a miracle!
Blessings---Penny
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