In rereading Desmond Tutu on forgiveness I am struck by several things;
Without forgiveness there is no future. We remain locked in the past going over and over the insult or perceived slight or the abuse.
We are not expected to forget. Desmond Tutu says it is important to remember so we do not let the issue happen again.In forgiveness we try to stand in the shoes of the perpetrators and try to understand what pressures and influences might have influenced them.
In forgiveness we give up the right for revenge. If we do not give up the "right to revenge," we remain in the prison of the abuse.
In forgiveness I get to write the end of the story.
Forgiveness means I believe in the importance of rebuilding the relationship---the relationship with God.
My clinical experience tells me many women in recovery from addiction, addictions of many kinds, have experienced abuse---of many kinds. Moving into forgiveness is an essential piece of recovery. Remaining the victim keeps the anger alive and anger is a primary issue in relapse.
Where do I need to begin my journey of forgiveness?I begin in prayer-asking God to lead me in this. God knows what I need before I ask. In prayer I open myself to remember that I forgive because He has forgiven me.
Blessings---Penny
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