I am once again reminded of how very important confidentiality is. A close relative recently shared some thoughts on her feelings and concerns about another close family member. She is concerned that this family may "fall apart" because of the stress and tension. The family is not dealing with the stress in a healthy manner. Though the family under stress has shared some of the issues with me, the "new information" has not been shared with me directly.
In some ways this is a real bind for me. On one hand I'd like to let the family know I am concerned about these particular issues and offer my support. Secrets are a big part of the communication dynamics of this whole extended family. On the other hand it is certainly their right to maintain their privacy about these concerns.
And ultimately I would not betray the confidence of the family member who shared her concerns. Though she did not swear me to secrecy, I am certain she told me this in confidence.
In my years as a therapist I am aware of how destructive sharing something told in confidence can be. It can feel like a betrayal. Years of "not talking" can result and whole family "cut offs" can occur.
This week was simply a reminder. I pray I will always remember to honor the "story" and remember it is not mine to tell.
Blessings-Penny
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